The Road I’m On

I was thinking the other night about how happy I am when I go to the gym and that I work out. Weird. Have I fallen in love with fitness? I’m not sure I’d call it love yet, but right now, it’s definitely infatuation.  All I know is we’re in it for the long haul. Fitness has been trying to court me forever, and I’ve brushed it off with lame excuses that are the equivalent of “I can’t..I have to wash my hair” or flirting with it briefly then never calling it for months and months and diving out of the way when I see it on the street.  We’re going to have our highs and lows throughout the decades and I’m probably going to hate it and behave like a bratty Taylor Swift toward it from time to time. Lately, though, I’m starting to feel as if I’m getting in the groove.

I never was someone who liked working out. In college I’d take my Kindle to the gym and sit on an exercise bike going the slowest possible speed and would read.  Or I’d just go for long, slow walks on the most isolated part of campus when the gym was too crowded so I could be alone with my thoughts and my cheesy bad pop music on my I-pod. I never would attempt to work out very hard. I didn’t like how red my face got if I tried too hard. So unattractive. Of course another factor was that I was in such bad shape with virtually zero stamina so why would I want to embarrass myself and flaunt my pathetic status in front of my classmates? I didn’t like my body and knew I had to work out and eat better, but I had no interest in it. I didn’t want to try and set myself up for embarrassment or failure. I have a hard time sticking with things when they’re hard and give up on myself pretty quickly.

But after  starting a new chapter when I moved to a new city, I realized I was sick of coasting and so easily accepting that I was: overweight, not in shape, weak,  a horrible eater and resentful. I was too young to give up and just slot myself into the role of a person I didn’t want to be. I had such an opportunity for a fun life in my new city, I could start over here. I could be happy here. So I started a blog about it (my condolences to the Internet).

My fitness journey for the few months has found me going to a class or just ducking into the cardio cinema and doing strictly treadmill or elliptical because I didn’t know what else to do at the gym. But lately I have been hanging out in the private training area. It’s very isolated and I get to try out new circuits without feeling self-conscious or like everyone is silently mocking my slowness or noting that my arms start shaking 5 seconds after I get into a plank. I’ve had so much fun playing around on Pinterest and finding work-outs to do. I’ll find them the night before, save the pin to my camera roll on my phone, then watch a Youtube video on how to perform a certain move.  I, of course, forget how to perform that move when I actually get to the gym. BUT…I get really sweaty, have fun (will wonders never cease?) and afterward feel like the cat that swallowed the canary. The red face I used to dread is now worn as a badge of honor, of sorts. Like, yep, I worked out hard people. 

I love feeling my heart beat faster and the beads of sweat. I love getting my body moving. After years of only fueling it with poor nutrition, I love knowing I’m finally taking care of it.

 

image from fellow bmore blend, kate. I LOVE THIS QUOTE. #hitshome 

Over the last few months, I’ve tried a lot of new things. I’m not particularly adventurous and am very intimidated at the idea of new things. Remember it took me two months to work up the nerve to go to Body Pump? And I LOVE it. I’ve tried CXWORX, which I liked even though I made a fool of myself, and I really look forward to definitely seeing improvement as I get stronger and not having such a hard time with the ONE piece of equipment the class uses [sigh]. Also I ran two 5ks.

I’m so glad I found  Brian, the Zumba instructor at the gym, and that I have such a good time at his class. I love that I can kinda run a little now- granted, it’s still pathetic and I’m slower than molasses, red-faced, panting, dying, cursing with my last breaths, etc., but I can do it. And I do do it. Slowly I’m learning to let myself revel in the fact that I do it, and not pay attention to how much faster everyone else is or how much longer they can go for, because just the fact that I am going at all is wonderful.  I love that I have the Bmore Blends and that we’re plotting out fun workouts. I love that I’m get to try classes like Body Combat but I especially love how gleeful I am  about trying these classes.

It’s also dizzily exciting how much I am looking forward to trying things out: I’m determined to compete in a half marathon sometime in the next 18-ish months. I want to try CrossFit. I want to try the bootcamp type classes my gym offers that right now I’m still too scared to attend.  And whatever else I decide I want to do.  It’s truly amazing that I now look forward to fitness classes and going to the gym.  I’m excited for all that’s ahead and working toward it.

Tuesdays Are My New Favorite Day

Aside from the fact that it is so freaking far from Friday.

After last week’s attempt at figuring out my new Tuesday evening gym routine, I think I’ve got it down. I left work at 3:30 and made a pitstop to Walmart to buy a visor ($3!!) because I burn to a crisp. Never tan, always burnt. I got to my gym around 3:45, changed, and made my way to a lounge chair. The pool at the gym just opened two months ago and…….I approve.

I need to get in shape so I can buy a bathing suit and go down those slides.

It’s a “family pool” so there are lots of kids around but I don’t mind. I dutifully put on my 70 SPF sunscreen and settled in  reading
“Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist’s Quest to Discover If Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, or Why Pie Is Not The Answer.”  I thought I would be doing you a disservice if I didn’t post the full title. I’m only 18% in so I’m not sure if I love the actual book yet, but I knew by page two that I love Jen Lancaster, the author. I’ve never giggled aloud so many times while reading a book and did I mention I’m only 18% in? Jen is absolutely hilarious. Anyone who writes “I’m not lazy. I’m simply judicious about excess movement” is meant to be my friend. Seriously.

 
Anyway. I noticed they had $5 sangrias and I stood there for a good three minutes engaged in a heated debate with myself about whether or not I should get one. Sangria was practically invented for 90 degree days at the pool. I thought that with a little liquid courage, I would most likely be adventurous and more self-assured so I’d  stack tons of weight onto my bar at BodyPump and convince myself #yolo and that it made for a more productive workout. Hey maybe my newfound strength would impress hot body pump guy. Then, I would probably throw my back out because I was not in fact ready for all that adventurous weight on my bar, crumple to the floor in a writhing drunken heap, and the hot body pump guy would sweep me off into his arms and carry me off to the party room to tend to me because nobody is ever in the party room…..and yeah. Probably no sangria.

I was so relaxed that in any other situation it would have been difficult to peel myself off my chair and turn my Kindle off but I was so excited for Zumba. After about an hour and a half, I headed back inside to check in for Zumba at 6 and BodyPump at 7. It’s really weird to see the gym so active at this time. I’m normally there twelve hours earlier. People were just sitting around chatting in the lounge or watching TV whereas normally everyone is off to work in a rush and doesn’t have time to hang out and chat. The kids playroom, which is usually locked and dark at 5 a.m, is alive and vibrant with tons of kids running around.  I was standing in the hall waiting for yoga to end so I could get to Zumba, and a girl taps me on the shoulder and says “Have you gone to this class before?” She explained this was her first fitness class ever and she was really nervous. Ha! Lucky her, she unknowingly  was talking to the one who would be the most sympathetic person to her plight. I gave my passionate spiel and was very comforting, but I  think I pissed off a few people who were standing around when I declared “If you’re good at Zumba, you’re in the minority”. Thinking about it now, that sounds meaner than I intended it to.   I guess I went overboard on the trying to comfort her thing. I was trying to say nobody in the class is a professional dancer (that I can tell).

I can’t say enough how much I love the Zumba instructor, Brian. He has the perfect personality for a Zumba class. You can tell he is having so much fun and is really sassy. He gets up off the stage every so often and will start dancing with a random member of the class for a few seconds. We all know I get intimidated at the drop of a hat or by a glance, but it’s fun. He said to this one older woman, “Drop it low, hot stuff!” and she did and it was hilarious. A new personal trainer dropped in to the class for a little to try it out and Brian pulled him up on stage with him. It was pretty comical to see this 6’4 guy with bulging muscles fumble around with the choreography to J. Lo’s “Papi”.

The class is always packed. Attendees started asking the gym managers if Brian could add another class, so they did! It’s Saturdays though so I’m not sure how often (if ever) I’ll get there. But yeah, Brian’s Zumba is apparently legendary, another classgoer told me.

After Zumba, it was time for BodyPump. The Tuesday night instructors switch off and on every week between a woman named Lori (last week) and Ashley (this week). I didn’t like Lori because she kept rushing us, urging us that “ya gotta move more quickly!!” when we were adjusting the weights on our bars after tracks, since she had to leave right after class ended to go somewhere for her son and I do not like to be rushed in situations like that. It makes me feel panicky. Ashley is mid 20’s and seems new, but I like her a lot more than Lori.

I think this is interesting…there were 18 in last week’s class, and this week there was 10. NONE of which was Hot Body Pump Guy. 😦 I’m intrigued to see if the attendance is a trend, if more people prefer Lori, who is older and who is clearly a veteran, as opposed to Ashley who’s new and you can tell still figuring out her teaching style and such. Of course, it could just be coincidence. In other BodyPump news, I was able to plank for the entire time which has happened all of nada in my lifetime.

Anyway I’m really pumped about my new Tuesday routines. The only thing I’m still unsure about is BodyCombat. The gym near my house offers BodyCombat at 5:45 on Tuesday mornings.  I really, really want to try it and that’s the only option I can make it to. I just don’t know if three fitness classes in one day is too much? Remember I was all impressed with myself when I did three fitness classes that one time? Haha. I’m leaning toward the thought that it will be fine as it’s not 3 fitness classes in a row (there’s literally a 12 hour break ha), but I don’t know. It will get me at work a good 30 minutes later than usual which I’m not happy about but from work’s perspective, is a non-issue. I also will  need to figure out how I am going to handle dinner each week.

So, I had a great time last night at my two classes and am a bit amused that I now look forward to Tuesdays, of all days. I just hope  it never rains.

 

1.  favorite group fitness teacher ever?

2. ever worked out with a nice alcoholic buzz? it’s probably all kinds of bad and not safe but…i’m sure it’s happened before.

3. who makes your have fitness clothes? i am looking to buy (surprise surprise) capris for the new longish reebok tank i just splurged on.

Back At It With Big Ideas, a Vengeance and a Partial Fail

For as well as I was doing at the gym, June was a mess. An absolute mess. As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been really struggling with sleeping in the heat lately. I’ve never been a great sleeper, but paired with the heat, it’s horrible. There was a string of three days where I downed a glass of wine before crawling into bed and that knocked me out, but I hated my monster headache the next day. Such a lightweight. Sleep, why you be so elusive. When I was back at my parents for the 4th I had my air conditioner cranked up high and was out within 30-40 minutes. It was bliss. Now it takes me a few hours to fall asleep because I’m so hot, so I’m finally drifting off around 1 am, and when my alarm goes off at 4, there’s just no way. I have to be at the gym at 5 to get to work on time (my “on time” is by 7, so I can leave at 3:30 to comfortably beat most city traffic).

The only day I have consistently gone to the gym, no matter how pitiful my sleep was the night before, is Thursdays for BodyPump. It is incredible to me how much I like it and look forward  to it. Will wonders never cease? I’m slowly adding more weight to the bar, though I’m still way lower than everyone else I’m getting better at not letting myself feel embarrassed about that, and I really love the class and how I feel after it. I walk out of the class, sweaty and aching, but I feel awesome, strong, ready to take on the world (and win) and so confident after seeing and feeling my muscles work. I never really paid ‘strength training’ any mind and convinced myself it was not important. I just assumed I wouldn’t know how or wouldn’t be able to, because I was weak, intimidated, ignorant and too embarrassed to ask to learn. So, to feel my muscles that would have gathered dust if they were able to tremble or my legs begin to ache is such a cool feeling. You know how Cosmo always asks their cover girls “when do you feel prettiest?” I think my answer would be “after BodyPump”.  Just so you know Cosmo, whenever you want me, I am ready.

On weekdays that are not Thursdays, I’ve occasionally dragged myself to the gym near my house a handful of times in the afternoon but the gym was crowded, I was intimidated (my own issue), and so basically I just walked/jogged on the treadmill for 30 minutes before making my hasty exit and vowing “tomorrow I’m getting up early!! I can’t do that again!!!” I know. Excuses, excuses. It’s all on me. I’m not proud of it. So June was pretty much a wash.

Thus I have  been determined to make up for it in July. Not sure what to do about the sleeping issue, but I really need and want to get back on track so I’m going to figure it out. To get back into things, I came up with this brilliant idea that since I feel more comfortable at my gym location near work I’d try to incorporate another BodyPump at that location into my brand new weeks. On Tuesday evenings, they offer Zumba at 6  and BodyPump at 7. My genius idea  was to run to my gym from work, which is 2.2 miles. I’d leave my car in the parking garage at work, run to the gym, take BodyPump, and run back to work and drive home from there. I didn’t want to do that every week but since I have a 5k on Sunday, I decided I’d run there and back just this once.

I got changed into gym clothes at work, went to my car and dropped all my bags off, transferred my ‘must-haves’ into a drawstring bag to carry with me (ID, banana, water) and I was off. Walking. The drawstring bag was a dumb idea because …. duh. It bounced all over the place and was annoying. So I walked/jogged on and off.  Again, I didn’t really plan this epic voyage so the socks I grabbed off my floor were of course the tiniest ankle socks I own, and I started getting blisters. I went to Target, which is thankfully right in the middle of my route, and bought new socks as well as a cute shirt because, obviously. I resumed my nice leisurely walk, cursing myself for being an idiot because it was hot and this plan was stupid and why don’t I think anything through and why did I saddle myself with the drawstring bag?

At least there were pretty flowers on my route.

Longest 2.2 miles ever. I love a good walk but this one was annoying. I was hot, tired, and one of my blisters was bleeding. I eventually got to the gym where I saw what could have been. My gym has a brand new, beautiful outdoor pool. I could have been reading, relaxing and laying out. I think they also serve alcohol. Man. Next time. I got to the gym at 6:25 and took this stupid selfie to commemorate my achievement.

I was so relieved. And sweaty.

I sat in the hall outside the group exercise studio peering into the Zumba class. I used to take Zumba in college and LOVED it. I have no rhythm and no moves in my arsenal whatsoever, but so enjoy shaking it, thus I need choreography to help guide me. I went to a Zumba class a month ago but the instructor was lackluster and the class left something to be desired. I think I can unofficially declare that my search for a Zumba instructor is officially over. I only saw 5 songs, but the instructor Brian, was my kind of Zumba instructor.  He threw a freaking party. The songs were all songs I knew and the choreography was fun. The class, jam-packed, was full of people of all ages who were smiling, laughing, and most importantly, DRENCHED in sweat. For the last song before the cool down, Brian divided the room in half and made the two sides stand and face off, and then he jumped in the center and it was a ‘dance-off’ of sorts, right side versus left side, demonstrating Brian’s choreography. Definitely want to try and go next week. They were having so much fun!

The BodyPump instructor was okay but more importantly, there was a super hot guy in my class. I nearly tumbled off the step thing after triceps trying to crane my neck and see if he had a ring on. No verdict. The cooldown song was Evanescence’ “My Immortal” which I found to be a hilarious throwback. God, remember them? I think that song was my default AIM away message when I felt like being ~deep~. After class ended, I was totally deflated to remember I had to hoof it back to the parking garage.

Not one of my brightest ideas. But this Tuesday evening class business is going to stick. I do want to get to that Zumba class and then do BodyPump after (hot BodyPump guy YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED). Maybe I won’t commute on foot anymore, haha. But I’m excited to get back on track and feel a renewed sense of motivation.  I got home at 9:20, and wouldn’t you know, after being out of the house for 15 hours, fell onto my bed and passed out.

 

Tuesday Things

This weekend I knocked over a bottle of nail polish that for some stupid reason I had only put the lid on halfway. Ah, this is the price I pay for accepting mediocrity in everything. Of course I didn’t notice the nail polish fall because I was looking for my I-pod and naturally it fell at the most perfect angle so it got all over my hardword floor, you know, the hardwood floor that my landlord calls “his pride and joy”? I spent all weekend googling how to get it off, buying supplies and scrubbing accordingly. It’s 98% off but I probably still need to scrub some more.

 

On Saturday I went to Zumba. I used to love Zumba and go all the time but I haven’t found a good instructor here yet. Instructors can make or break for me. I went to the gym near my house. It’s about a mile away and because I hate driving, I walked. This Zumba instructor was mostly a miss. She looked up at the ceiling the whole time, which was so weird. It’s like you could literally see the gears in her brain operating trying to remember the choreography.

 

On Sunday I took the next step in my relationship with BodyPump. I went to another class. I was expecting some lady named Jamie, and some tattooed guy named Heinz gets up there. He was no Sherri, haha. He was tough.  This class reminded me of how ignorant I am. Heinz kept yelling OH EM GEE KNEES BEHIND TOES and I can’t figure out what that means. Sherri says this too. Just say “Bend your knees more!” or “Move your feet back!” or something.

 

I’ve never been a good sleeper but it’s getting worse. My house is SO HOT and I can’t sleep because of it. I live with 3 girls who get cold at 74 degrees (wtf) so I let majority win that battle. I have 3 fans yet I can’t sleep at night because I’m so hot. I was talking to a co-worker about this and she said she prefers to sleep when she’s hot. I think these people are CRAZY. If you’re cold, you can add on more covers, blankets, clothes. You can do something about it! Or if you’re hot, there’s nothing you can really do.

 

Yesterday at work was data entry all day. It was horrendous and at the end of the day, I was all but skipping out the door. Woohoo that I have even more to do today. Yippee.

 

I need friends. I’ve been here 9 months and I still don’t really know anyone. My only kind-of friends that I met here are my roommates’ co-workers and I still don’t really gel that well with them considering they spend 45+ hours a week together and have all these inside jokes I don’t get. There’s Jenna and the new girl at work, but we don’t really hang out on weekends. But I don’t know how to meet anyone besides work. I refuse to join a sports league because I’m so terrible I will most definitely not be making any friends thata way. Blergh.

 

This morning was going to be my first BodyCombat class. I’ve been wanting to go forever, especially since I loved the boxing part of the Xercise Labs. I got out to my car at 5:20 this morning……and someone was parked behind me in our parking pad. It wasn’t my roommates’ or any of their boyfriends. I had no idea whose car it was. I didn’t know what to do as there was no way I could get out. I wasn’t about to rouse the neighbors so early in the morning. And plus, the neighbors have their own parking pads, so it probably wouldn’t be them. Do I call a tow truck? My brain was still half asleep and not churning out terrific ideas besides call 911 so I just went back in the house and went back to bed for 45 minutes When I got back outside an hour later, the car was gone, thankfully. I was so mad then. I realllllllllly want to go to BodyCombat! Sigh. This is the class that best fits my schedule so I have to wait until next week, I guess.

 

THIS SONG. Kelly Clarkson is my spirit animal. I can’t think of a song of hers that I haven’t loved. Obsessed.

how do you prefer to sleep- hot or cold?

My Day in the Lab (with Burpees)

I made my return to BodyPump yesterday morning after my first class. I really love Thursdays because of BodyPump. The class is at 6 a.m., which means I get to sleep in an extra hour!! Woohoo. I wake up at 5, instead of 4, which of course is amazing. But like all good things bestowed upon me, I ruined it yesterday morning and overslept by 12 critical minutes which left me scrambling. I arrived with two minutes to spare but whenever I’m running behind, I turn into (even more of) a disheveled mess. After all of two classes, I’ve deemed that I do really like BodyPump. I now understand why it’s as popular as it is. I love feeling my arm muscles tremble and knowing that they’re finally getting the attention they deserve after being largely ignored for 24 years. I like how the class isn’t boring, how I know all of the songs they play, and how we work sooo many muscle groups. It also seems the class flies by. In 99% of things I do I have a very limited attention span and become “over it” pretty quickly, so I’m always pleasantly surprised when Sherri (she still rocks, by the way) announces we’re going to warm down and stretch.

Merritt, my gym, sent out an e-mail last week to members announcing that they were doing a demo of Xercise Lab classes to decide if they wanted to add it to the group fitness schedule. They were only hosting the demos at three locations, and I was excited to see that the location I go to was one of them! The class was the same day as BodyPump so I gave serious thought for all of 12 seconds as to if I should skip one. I declared I could handle two-a-days. I didn’t want to skip BodyPump so early into my “career” but Xercise Lab: Burn Lab class sounded intriguing.

Merritt has two locations a few minutes from my house, but the one I go to is right down the street from work (which is 20-25 minutes from my house), and is much easier and more convenient. I think its the nicest one too 🙂 The class was at 5:30 p.m., and since I leave work around 3:40 each day, I just hung out at the gym for an hour, reading and doing light cardio because ya know, I am a delicate flower that tires easily and I wanted to be in as best of form as I could muster up for my butt kicking.

Burn Lab is 45 minute, high intensity cardio workout. It kicked my butt all over town. I was drenched in sweat, beet red, the whole pretty enchilada. It was INTENSE. It was fast. No rest for the weary… you have to grab water in between songs, they don’t give you breaks. There was a lot of boxing which I surprisingly loved. We did a lot of jump lunges. In the link above, there’s a video that’s a pretty good summary of it. I can only imagine how many calories I burned.

I read a lot of blogs and always hear about burpees and how they’re designed by Satan and all that. I never looked up a video or anything, didn’t know what they were, I just knew they had to be bad. So when Breann, the Burn Lab trainer, announced the next song included Burpees, I involuntarily groaned. They were awful. I don’t know how everyone else seems to just spring back up, but I seemed to require an extra step or two to haul myself back up. I can only imagine what I looked like doing them, ha.

The nice lady working out next to me said the class was a lot like Insanity, which I have never done or even looked at, because I am not that insane. Another girl said it reminded her a little of Les Mills Body Combat, which she loved. We have to give the gym our feedback and I mulled it over the whole ride home. Burn Lab is a class I’d love to do once a week. Seriously, after the class ended I was a dripping mess. It was hard. It was intense. It was fast. It is the perfect class for a day after Thanksgiving or Christmas where you eat waaaaaay too much.

After the class they held a Build Lab demo. I wasn’t going to stay, but my new gym friend Frances (sp? some friend I am) was staying and I felt bad because not many people seemed to stay. Also it was raining and I hate driving in the rain so I was giving the sky some time to sort itself out (it didn’t). Build Lab is also 45 minutes and is described as weight training without weights. I should have left right then. We did a lot of planks. A lot of push-ups. Some burpees. NONE OF WHICH I AM GOOD AT. It took me half the class to realize I should probably get a mat to ease the pain of all the push-ups and planks. BodyPump is about all I can handle. I was a pitiful, embarrassing sight but the trainer who taught this class, Sasha, was tough. We also did a lot of lunges and jumping, that which I can handle. Frances – a 53 year old who was 50 pounds heavier until she started working out 1.5 years ago, so great — said the class would pair perfectly with spinning.

Sasha, in a picture that is not at all creepy.

Frances liked Build Lab better, I liked Burn Lab (duh). Of course afterward I asked the two trainers, Breann and Sasha, obnoxious questions because I can’t help myself. Xercise Labs is only a year old (!) but they are in a lot of gyms all over the US, Russia and Switzerland. Breann and Sasha said they fly all over and have been doing a lot of demos lately. Breann and Sasha were super energetic, annoyingly gorgeous and seemed to be having so much fun. I think it would be incredibly important with these classes to make sure the trainers are really good because the classes are hard and intense (have I mentioned that part yet?). Breann (and she works for the company so…who knows) said in her 13+ years she’s never seen people get such great results as they do when they go to 5 Labs a week. I think it was 3 Burn Lab / 2 Build Lab, but it might be other way around. She also noted that people have told her they’ve dropped minutes off their running pace because of the Lab classes.

People seemed enthused so I think we’ll probably take them on….and hopefully I can start going to Burn Lab semi-regularly, and when I get stronger, give Build Lab another whirl and seek redemption for myself.

Maybe I am a little bit insane as I did THREE-A-DAYS technically yesterday. Three fitness classes in one day!! Who am I?!!!?! I came home at 8:00 and slept like the dead. So. Breann gave me 5 of her business cards, I have no idea why. This isn’t a sponsored post and I’m not a PR plant or anything but if you’re interested in the labs and want ’em for your gym or just want more info, I have their contact info, just send me an e-mail and I’ll give it to ya for you to forward to your gym or whatever the heck you want to do.

questions.

1. What’s the most you’ve ever worked out in one day?

2. burpees: the worst? yes or yes?

3. have you tried any new fitness classes lately?

Caitlyn Goes to Body Pump

……..and lives to tell the pointless tale.

I’ve been meaning to go to Body Pump for a while. But every morning I chickened out.

“I’m not ready!!!” (what signs I was waiting for to alert me to my ‘ready’ status, I know not)

“Today doesn’t feel right.” (haha oh i’m good)

“I should really do more treadmill/elliptical for the 12th day in a row.”

I was just nervous and making excuses. I really don’t like being the new, out of shape kid fumbling around in a class full of fit, strong people who all seem to know what to do. But this morning I woke up and I was just over it. Over all my dumb excuses and fears. I’ve always known I want to start going to weekly BodyPump classes so what the heck was I waiting for.

The fitness studio at my gym is super wide, which I love because that way there’s nobody behind me that I can imagine is laughing at me all class long. It also has that wall of mirrors all fitness studios seem to insist on having. I really don’t want to look at myself, thanks.

I purposely got there 20 minutes early to figure out set-up. I was second to arrive, but no instructor. I just grabbed all the stuff the other girl seemed to have. I didn’t know what to do with weights so I  took all the light ones and assumed I’d figure it out. A few more people filtered in and finally, the instructor.

She immediately came over to me and introduced herself as Sherri. Ever so charming and never ever awkward, I replied “I’m new and I’m scared” (five second pause), “Oh. Right. I’m Caitlyn.”

I was at ease right away. Sherri exclaimed over and over how glad she was I was there and I’d be fine, we all start somewhere. It was all the things my sensitive soul had to hear from someone else. She helped me figure out weights to start with and promised she’d help if I needed her. So when she did get up to begin class, I was feeling fine. I was thinking, Sherri’s so nice and will help me. I can do this.

My brain has already blocked out the details of the class because it was painful. I had a pitifully light amount of weights on my bar and my arm muscles were trembling halfway through.  Sherri was the kind of instructor my fragile ego needs. Super sweet, cheerful but not annoyingly so, smiley.  She kept looking at me to make sure I was still breathing or hadn’t run away screaming and would wink or mouth “Great job!”

There were about 15 other people in the class and I was the youngest (I’m assuming, based off appearances). It is very humbling to be the youngest but use – by far – the least amount of weights. I looked around and was like embarrassed, wondering what they possibly thought of this young ‘un barely putting any weight on the bar.

michelle probably is lifting more than i did all class.

The thing I’m most excited about is…I didn’t hate the class. I actually kinda liked it and am planning to go back every Thursday. I I liked that we did a lot of different things and it was so varied.  I worked up a sweat and it felt goooooooooood. My arms are already sore and I attempted to put mascara on but when I started applying it my my muscles started trembling again and I got some in my eye.

I’m so glad I got over my ridiculous fears and finally got started. I feel like this might be the beginning of a beautiful thing.