Welcome 2014

Happy New Year! Welcome to 2014. To quote one of the great philosophers of my time, Hannah Montana, “let’s make it rock.”

I wasn’t going to do one of these but I’ve read so many great posts that I wanted to try. I don’t think these are anything horribly drastic but they are all important. Plus, I find I need things written down otherwise I forget. The food & health ones are the most important overall, buuuut obviously I want to focus on them all.

 

Baltimore:

I live in a city like I’ve always wanted to! I need to take advantage of this more rather then just being content to hang in my house all the time.

Look for opportunities to volunteer…and get involved.

Be more social and become more proactive at finding more friends here.

 

Career:

Get a new job that I like, is an advancement  from where I am now and will teach me new skills.

Learn to handle things better in the workplace. I take it all so personally and recent events have affected me way too much.

Learn tactics to communicate better with leadership/executives in the workplace. I’ve let many issues or incidents that upset me slide, because I didn’t think I could address them with my superiors. I thought i was too low on the totem pole and couldn’t bring it up. I need to figure out a way to discuss them in a professional way.

 

Financial:

Pay cash more often to hold myself accountable. While out shopping, I’m way too liberal about tossing items in my cart because…hey! i have my credit card.

Make more money. 🙂

Contribue to my 401K. I don’t right now because my salary is so tiny that I need it all, but  I know it’s important.

 

Food:

For some reason, I really hate food prep/cooking/baking. It makes me so anxious (?) and I find that I just cannot wait until it’s over and done. Really weird. Get over this.

Become better at packing food for work (breakfast, snacks, lunches). I’m horrible at planning. More on this later.

Prepare better dinners. I often mail it in at dinner because for reasons above.

Try a recipe from Pinterest/Instagram/blogs once a month.

Figure out how to meal plan. Ginger and nutmeg has been sitting in my cabinet forever, buuuut I can’t remember why I have it. I write down on my grocery list to buy this stuff because i see a recipe somewhere along my lengthy Internet trail. Then I can’t remember what the recipe is or why this stuff is in my cabinet.

 

Health:

Lose weight.

Continue to develop healthy habits.

Work harder at winning everyday battles between old binge-y habits and new healthier habits.

Become more educated on my body and healthy eating.

Stop being so afraid of the weight room at gym. One way to do that is become more educated on what those OMG so intimidating machines do.

Incorporate variety into work-outs.

Work out on weekends. I do this like once a month but it could be more.

Successfully complete the Charles Street 12 miler and  Baltimore Half. Do not worry about times, just focus on crossing finish line. Do not have panic attack if it takes 10 hours.

 

Organization:

Uh, pretty much be more organized. Be neater.

 

Social:

Try and attend church more regularly.

Be more proactive at finding friends and being more social.

Stop holding myself back.

Be nicer and more compassionate.

Try not to have a breakdown over turning 25 (!!!!!) and do not dwell on what my life isn’t. For example, I alway thought I’d get engaged at 25 and I’m pretty sure that won’t be happening soooo I just need to let go of what I thought would happen. Live more in the moment.

Have a great year 🙂

 

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The Way I Think

Hey. Thanks so so much for all your comments on my last post. Sometimes I wonder why I blog, then I read other peoples blogs, comments on other peoples blogs, comments on my own blog, and…I remember exactly why. To hear I’m not alone. I love social media and I also hate it because seeing everyone’s statuses squealing about getting promotions or getting the coolest job ever, Instagram pictures that feature the hashtag “#engaged” and whatever, gets me reallll down in the dumps. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for everyone and when I comment ‘congrats! happy for you!’ I mean it (most times), but sheesh, I hate that their happiness/success makes me feel like shit about myself. I feel angry and saddened that (it appears) everyone is moving forward yet I am like a hamster on the wheel that never gets anywhere, forever chilling on the very bottom. Being grateful every day is not something that comes easily to me. Neither does self-acceptance (believe me we know, think longtime readers of this blog).

I was thinking today about how I always dwell on all the things that I’m not and all the things I don’t have, instead of all the things that I am and all the things that I do have. What brought this revelation on was when I was at the mechanic/neighbors picking up our plentiful packages [oh the holiday season], and one of the mechanics said to me, “I thought you should know that when your package came today, as so-and-so signed for it, he said ‘Oh good, that means Caitlyn will come by today.’ We all look forward to your appearances because you make us laugh.” I was so stunned/touched by this, I think I stuttered a thank you, resorted to my standby self-deprecating humor bout how that’s the first time I ever heard somebody say they were looking forward to seeing me, we all laughed, I walked away smiling and hadn’t stopped smiling since. Whenever I’m at the neighbors, I am just trying to not be my always awkward self, and I never thought what they might see or take out of the brief exchange because I always just assume my jokes are stupid, that they’re counting the seconds until that awkward neighbor leaves. I always see the worst. I think I’m awkward, I’m always going to be awkward, but that’s not what other people necessarily see. These neighbors don’t know how I see myself.

I pout too often about how I don’t like my weight right now, but I ignore the positive changes I have made.  I was staring at my grocery cart in the check-out line the other day and I couldn’t believe that it was my cart, full of stuff picked out by ME. Two years ago I probably wouldn’t have been able to tell you what egg whites were. Or why too much sodium was a problem. Or what almond milk was. Or what Greek yogurt was. and why it was different. Two years ago when I went to the grocery store, I completely ignored the perimeter of the grocery store. I never bought produce. Ever. I bought cookies, crackers, bagel bites, ice-cream, cheez-its, pop-tarts. All I drank was soda, alcohol and the occasional water with Crystal Light. I’m pretty confident that I never, ever, ever hit my suggested veggie intake. Now I fill my cart with egg whites, fat-free Greek yogurt, cranberries, spinach, bananas, strawberries, almonds, carrots. I think and care about things like my veggie intake everyday and make smoothies or small salads to accommodate if I realize it’s low. I pause to dwell on if I am drinking enough water – and sometimes, I even drink more water than recommended. I limit myself to one soda or one Crystal Light a week, and sometimes I go without them.

I get borderline depressed when I look at my bank account and remember how poor I am. But if I frame the situation another way,  I  feel proud that while my bank account doesn’t end with as many zero’s as I’d like it to, I’m living on my own in a new city, paying bills, and am still managing to save something.  When I moved to this city, I lived here for 4.5 months without any income. I’m proud that I managed to make it work and am still here making it work and learning about living on my own. I personally have a lot to learn about how to be an adult and live on my own.

Not only do I tend to have a distaste for where I am in my life and dwell on all the things that I’m presently not, I am guilty of pigeon-holing myself and accepting what I  let myself think I can never be. Make sense? Probably not. I know I hold myself back and don’t take chances because “well, obviously, that’s not for me, that’s for people cooler/more successful/more talented than me. I won’t be able to do that.” It’s sobering to realize I severely underestimate myself and cut myself off from fun things. Shouldn’t I be my own advocate? My biggest  cheerleader? It’s sad to realize I’m always my worst critic – and yes, I know I’m not alone in that. I’m training for a 12 miler in August (!!!!!) which I NEVER thought I’d do. Those kinds of things were obviously for runners only and I can never be a runner because .. hello..look at me, my name is Caitlyn, it’s not in my DNA, I suck at everything forever and ever amen. I’m still not 100% convinced I’ll be able to pull it off but I try to banish those thoughts and just focus on going a teensy bit further than I did yesterday.  I always thought it’d be so cool to be a half-marathoner but never pursued it because of who I thought I was and who I just accept that I am. Lazy, afraid, doomed, terrible at everything,hopeless. Yes, I’m lazy, but I can overcome that. Yes, I walked a nearly-20 minute mile in 7th grade and hated it every second, but why oh why still think about that 10 years later? It was a stupid grade school fitness test, it should have nothing to do with today, and the Caitlyn back then was most definitely not the Caitlyn of now. Thank God.

Really I get so angsty about how I’m not where I want to be, but I don’t stop to think about where I am, compared to where I  have been. Sure it’s not as fast and the results aren’t as sudden as I’d want them to be, but they are there. The littlest of results. Things – good things – will happen if I keep chugging along. Even if it feels like I’m getting nowhere. Good things are there. I just have to pay more attention and readjust what view I’m looking at.

Just Go

As I wrote about, I was really inspired and excited by the 27,000 runners at the Baltimore Running Festival last weekend. For a long time, I think I put runners on a pedestal. Something I could never be because duh- so sorry, so slow, so out of shape, so lazy, so hopeless, case closed. After all, in our grade school fitness test, I walked an 18.5 minute mile because I decided it was too hard after trying to run for 4 minutes. Since then when sinking into my BLAH SO FAT SO UNMOTIVATED FOREVER FAT mindset, I’ve often thought “sheesh if I could just be a runner”. Running is fascinating—our bodies are literally built to run but somehow it’s just not easy for everyone as it seems it should be thanks to asthma, bad knees, etc. There’s something so poetic about running, I thought. You lace up and just go wherever your feet take you for as long as they can.

Where am I going with this..oh yes I already regret starting this post. I always just assumed, remembering my pathetic mile attempt that was now 12 years ago (what? How? Ew), that I couldn’t be a runner. No clue why, that first mile attempt just stuck with me. But I always admired runners from afar. “Wow! They ran a half marathon? They ran for two and a half (estimated) straight hours! The only thing I can really do for two and a half hours is read, sleep and eat. So freaking cool, yo.” I’ve run two Color Runs and training for that was difficult because I was (am?) so out of shape.

Yet standing there at the Baltimore Running Festival, I was surprised to see so many runners of all shapes, sizes and ages. I saw a girl I (barely) knew from college who decided she wanted to feel the sense of accomplishment that comes from a marathon so she signed up for a marathon.  Right there, surrounded by olives, I mulled that over and got my philosophical hat on. How cool. She thought about what she wanted to be and went for it. It’s so easy and mind-blowingly simple when you break it down  like that. Why don’t I think of it like that? I make everything so complicated.

I saw all these people last Saturday, medals draped around their neck, and I thought “I could be one of them. If I wanted to, and put the work and time in, I could be one of them. I could be a half marathoner like I’ve wanted to be. They worked for it and did it. So could I.” So…..I will be. I am officially signed up for the Charles Street 12 miler in August. Not quite a half marathon but close. Charles Street is a historic, celebrated street here in Baltimore.  I love the early bird discounts and I know if I don’t sign up early and make myself work toward it, I’ll push it off and eventually talk myself out of it once enough time goes by and it looks like I won’t be able to successfully train in time or I’ll be all “you want to do whaaat? hello caitlyn have you met yourself before?” Yep, that’s how I talk to myself. Will I do the Baltimore half marathon two months after that? I hope so. The early bird discount ends in a week and half so I should decide, uh, soon. I already looked at a half marathon training plan and wrote it all down.

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“hal”= hal higdon program. 

I’m worried that I won’t be able to pull it off because I’ve never really taken on something so challenging as this. This is going to be hard and intense and I’m going to have to work really hard. I don’t really do “hard and intense”. I do “lounging in bed reading” and “eating nachos then taking a hard-earned nap”. Do I really have the ambition and determination and willpower to see this through? It’s all well and good to sit here and write about “I think I can I think I can”, “The only thing stopping me is me!”, but REALLY. Looking harder at this..I can sit here and spew out all the “I can do anything i set my mind to!!” cliches until the cows come home, but I’m so damn lazy, can I actually physically and mentally do this? Again I can sit here and I say “I think so.” But only time will tell. I really want to be a half marathoner. I don’t often get the chance to surprise myself, prove something to myself or work toward something and then feel proud when I accomplish it – what that says about my lame-ass life, I don’t want to analyze – and this is it. I want to feel the victory and sense of pride. I’ll be 25 (!) when all this happens, it’s time.

So…here we are. Just go.

MIMM: Runners Fest

Linking up with Katie for a terrible post about nothing.

My alarm went off at 6:04 yesterday morning and I laid there for a while thinking ‘What the hell is wrong with me? I am developing into a sick individual, setting alarms for fun.’ Then it dawned on me. Today was the day I was to give back to my community. Right. I was volunteering at the Baltimore Running Festival! Woohoo. It had poured for the previous three days here in Charm City so I pulled a hoodie on and wandered on down to the M & T Stadium at 7 right on the dot.

I was supposed to check in at “Celebration Village” and by village, they meant zoo. People everywhere. I managed to find the Info tent and lo and behold, volunteer check-in was at bag check on the other side of the parking lot. I found my people and was ready to complete my assigned tasks. The lady asked my name, I confidently gave it, and then she wrote it down with all the other volunteer names. Wtf? I registered months ago. They handed me a shirt and said ‘Have fun!’ I blinked at them and then said ‘Now what?’

‘Umm. Go see where you’re needed.’

Oh, okay. We’re only in a football stadium. I could be needed anywhere. I asked who I should be looking for.

‘People who need help.’

Wonderful. I gave up on this conversation and wandered off. This was a shock to my system because I managed events in college and a staff of 70 of my peers to manage freshmen move-in day. I assigned every second of their shift and carried around a master copy of everyones schedule. On my own lunch break, I was scanning Facebook and a girl I knew posted “Love reuniting with This Girl and That Girl! Hanging out in our apartment watching The Office! We tried to make cookies and ate mostly dough tehehehehe!” This Girl and That Girl were on the staff. I posted a comment on the status saying “Is that why they aren’t at their assigned stations for move-in day?” One of the girls called me and told me it was passive aggressive and uncalled for. I told her not to advertise on the Internet that she wasn’t doing the tasks she signed up to do. ..especially when the task you are supposed to be doing right now is handing out room keys to freshmen. Duh. At least bring me a cookie.

Anyway back to the present instead of yearning for the days when I could bark out orders ……I, of course, had no one else I was signed up with so I made a few laps of the Celebration Village looking for people that needed me. Difficult task. Awkwardly skulking around a football stadium parking lot on  my own….frighteningly typical.

I saw a group of volunteers far off so I meandered over their way and was told they already had too many people folding the foil ponchos. Fine. When I signed up to volunteer, I hadn’t envisioned myself folding ponchos anyway. I envisioned myself up on the podium dropping medals over the necks of chiseled, bare-chested men who thought this was the best day of their lives obvii.  Or doing something fun with a golf cart.

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the best of the fest, duh. she’s overdue for an eyebrow wax. excuse her.

I walked around for another ten ish minutes, convinced the security guards I kept passing were laughing at me, then saw a group of five volunteers in a pack following some guy with a clipboard. Perfect. I sidled up behind them and hoped this looked natural. The Food Tent. This I could do. There was a girl my age and she saw me and dropped back and said ‘Do you know what’s going on?’ Ah, my people. Her name was Jenny and she was nice so we silently agreed to be partners for the day. We opened up twelve hundred boxes of granola bars and olives (?). My nails are now in terrible shape from using them to slice upon all the boxes. Have you ever seen olives at a race? No, none of the runners had either. One runner asked ‘why olives?’ and I said something about salt which sounded smart and he accepted it. Or have you ever seen apples chopped in half? They were hideous. We did our assigned boxes and when one volunteer wandered up and said she was confused and where should she go, we said apples and ditched that table because I did not want to be associated with unappealing apples. I am a selfless volunteer.

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what.

Then we saw there was a water shortage – and I was mocked by all the other volunteers for my pronunciation of water – so we filled water cups. I turned it in into an exact science of ‘these people just ran for many many miles, how far should they have to stretch their arm to reach for a water cup?’. It’s an art. A water table is an art. It was very annoying how disorganized the volunteer side of things were. Volunteers kept walking up because they were looking for something to do. What. Runners were asking us all these questions that you would think we would know the answer to but no. Knew nothing.

I got to see Lauren straight off her first full! Crazy cool. Like a psycho I barreled right over to her the nanosecond I realized it was her and kinda yelled at her ‘LAUREN? HEY HOW DID IT GO!!!!!!!” A local teacher and cross country coach won, by the way, which was pretty awesome. Under Armour dropped their big title sponsorship this year (cue stephanie judith tanner: how rude) and thus there was no prize money, so no elite runners. But I love that a local guy won. I met a few of his students and they were adorable and so happy for him.  Erika Brannock was the honorary starter. She’s a local pre-school teacher who lost half her leg while standing near the finishing line waiting for her mom to finish the Boston marathon in April. Supposedly when she regained consciousness in the hospital, the first thing she asked was how were her students. She was worried about how they were going to react when they heard about her news.

Despite the disorganization, it was a fun day.  A marvelous day, if you will. There was a 5k, a relay, a half, a full and a kids fun run…so many runners. Sooo many runners. 27,000 runners. They were all super gracious and thankful. I saw allllllllll the people with medals around their necks and I was jealous. And motivated. Since I have been saying I want to run a half someday, I am henceforth declaring that I am going to try and aim for the Baltimore half 10/18/2014 at the ripe old age of 25 (!) and 5.5 months. Obviously don’t write it down or anything, give me some time to come up with some far-fetched excuses of why I can’t 😉 Either way……

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1. do you volunteer at races?

2. favorite post-race snack? i know it’s olives.

3. favorite race?

4. favorite race song? i love a good pump-up.

MIMM: Color Run, family style.

Happy Monday! First, I have to comment on Cory Monteith’s sudden death. I’m not a Glee fan, but wow, that was the most shocking news. So freaking sad. He was so young. And to die alone in a hotel room 😦 ugh, ugh, ugh.  I hope they push back the season to give the cast and crew ample time to grieve, and just figure out how to respectfully and artfully retool the show a bit.

I’m linking up with Katie and MIMM like I never don’t, to talk about the Color Run again. I did one in Baltimore in May, but Sunday I did it in Philly with my family. My sister thought it would be a fun family activity so we all signed up. My dad and brother didn’t quite grasp the concept of Color Run until I was telling them about my Baltimore one, and my dad says, “Hold on….so I paid them money to throw shit at me?! What the hell is THAT bullshit! Are you kidding?” Haha.

Our team name was the “Fastest Doods in Town”, in honor of our Labradoodle, Maggie, who we’re only a teensy bit obsessed with, and she served as our honorary captain and mascot. While we were racing, winning, sweating and all that jazz, this is what she was doing…

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i’m sure she was supporting us subconsciously.

My dad, mom and sister have been training for two months (more on them in a post for later) and I hadn’t really been running faithfully, so we were all pretty nervous. For Baltimore, they held races at 9 am and 2 pm. In Philly, the race started at 7. If there is one thing that my family is good at, it is being early. If you invite us to a party, we will always be there first and about 15-20 minutes before the start time. So we arrived to the race site at 6 a.m. on the dot.

A huge difference between Baltimore and Philly was the organization. Baltimore was pretty much a mess. Philly was not. It even started early. We stood around until about 6:40 looking for the start line until they made an announcement directing people where the start line was. As we walked to the start line, my mom started to cry because she was so nervous. It was her first 5K and she wasn’t sure she would be able to handle it. It was so cute and so sad, haha.Image

so fresh and so clean. 

At Baltimore, the race started at 2 pm, and we finally were underway at 3. It took ages. Thus, I was stunned we were the third wave that went out at 6:55, only 10-15 minutes after waiting! We were chatting with nearby runners while waiting to go, and I’m proclaiming loudly like I’m some Color Run expert because I have completed the race all of one big time, that “Yeah…we’re going to be here a long time. It takes forever. Might as well settle in, ladies and gents!” Then, oh look at this. This line is moving quickly and oh my God, we’re going to get to go in this wave wow, and so I’m taking off running because I just looked like a total idiot.

It was the most humid day. It was awful. We ran in increments to stay with my mom and show solidarity. We were dripping in sweat though, thanks to the humidity. The route was kind of weird, but not as weird as Baltimore’s parking lot route was and nowhere near as cramped. Team Fastest Doods in Town crossed the finish line at 7:45 which was crazy early. A lot more people were showing up by the time we left at 8:40, so I guess the race went on all morning? I don’t know. The whole drive home we’re talking about having pizza and/or pulled pork sandwiches for lunch, then were like ‘Wait… it’s so early.’

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i am rocking those blue teeth. 

I just have to say, again, how much I love The Color Run. It is a fun, laid-back race that gets people of all ages out there, being active. Image

spoiler alert: this is probably our christmas card picture. 

have a great day.

photo-46

Back At It With Big Ideas, a Vengeance and a Partial Fail

For as well as I was doing at the gym, June was a mess. An absolute mess. As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been really struggling with sleeping in the heat lately. I’ve never been a great sleeper, but paired with the heat, it’s horrible. There was a string of three days where I downed a glass of wine before crawling into bed and that knocked me out, but I hated my monster headache the next day. Such a lightweight. Sleep, why you be so elusive. When I was back at my parents for the 4th I had my air conditioner cranked up high and was out within 30-40 minutes. It was bliss. Now it takes me a few hours to fall asleep because I’m so hot, so I’m finally drifting off around 1 am, and when my alarm goes off at 4, there’s just no way. I have to be at the gym at 5 to get to work on time (my “on time” is by 7, so I can leave at 3:30 to comfortably beat most city traffic).

The only day I have consistently gone to the gym, no matter how pitiful my sleep was the night before, is Thursdays for BodyPump. It is incredible to me how much I like it and look forward  to it. Will wonders never cease? I’m slowly adding more weight to the bar, though I’m still way lower than everyone else I’m getting better at not letting myself feel embarrassed about that, and I really love the class and how I feel after it. I walk out of the class, sweaty and aching, but I feel awesome, strong, ready to take on the world (and win) and so confident after seeing and feeling my muscles work. I never really paid ‘strength training’ any mind and convinced myself it was not important. I just assumed I wouldn’t know how or wouldn’t be able to, because I was weak, intimidated, ignorant and too embarrassed to ask to learn. So, to feel my muscles that would have gathered dust if they were able to tremble or my legs begin to ache is such a cool feeling. You know how Cosmo always asks their cover girls “when do you feel prettiest?” I think my answer would be “after BodyPump”.  Just so you know Cosmo, whenever you want me, I am ready.

On weekdays that are not Thursdays, I’ve occasionally dragged myself to the gym near my house a handful of times in the afternoon but the gym was crowded, I was intimidated (my own issue), and so basically I just walked/jogged on the treadmill for 30 minutes before making my hasty exit and vowing “tomorrow I’m getting up early!! I can’t do that again!!!” I know. Excuses, excuses. It’s all on me. I’m not proud of it. So June was pretty much a wash.

Thus I have  been determined to make up for it in July. Not sure what to do about the sleeping issue, but I really need and want to get back on track so I’m going to figure it out. To get back into things, I came up with this brilliant idea that since I feel more comfortable at my gym location near work I’d try to incorporate another BodyPump at that location into my brand new weeks. On Tuesday evenings, they offer Zumba at 6  and BodyPump at 7. My genius idea  was to run to my gym from work, which is 2.2 miles. I’d leave my car in the parking garage at work, run to the gym, take BodyPump, and run back to work and drive home from there. I didn’t want to do that every week but since I have a 5k on Sunday, I decided I’d run there and back just this once.

I got changed into gym clothes at work, went to my car and dropped all my bags off, transferred my ‘must-haves’ into a drawstring bag to carry with me (ID, banana, water) and I was off. Walking. The drawstring bag was a dumb idea because …. duh. It bounced all over the place and was annoying. So I walked/jogged on and off.  Again, I didn’t really plan this epic voyage so the socks I grabbed off my floor were of course the tiniest ankle socks I own, and I started getting blisters. I went to Target, which is thankfully right in the middle of my route, and bought new socks as well as a cute shirt because, obviously. I resumed my nice leisurely walk, cursing myself for being an idiot because it was hot and this plan was stupid and why don’t I think anything through and why did I saddle myself with the drawstring bag?

photo-45

At least there were pretty flowers on my route.

Longest 2.2 miles ever. I love a good walk but this one was annoying. I was hot, tired, and one of my blisters was bleeding. I eventually got to the gym where I saw what could have been. My gym has a brand new, beautiful outdoor pool. I could have been reading, relaxing and laying out. I think they also serve alcohol. Man. Next time. I got to the gym at 6:25 and took this stupid selfie to commemorate my achievement.

photo-43

I was so relieved. And sweaty.

I sat in the hall outside the group exercise studio peering into the Zumba class. I used to take Zumba in college and LOVED it. I have no rhythm and no moves in my arsenal whatsoever, but so enjoy shaking it, thus I need choreography to help guide me. I went to a Zumba class a month ago but the instructor was lackluster and the class left something to be desired. I think I can unofficially declare that my search for a Zumba instructor is officially over. I only saw 5 songs, but the instructor Brian, was my kind of Zumba instructor.  He threw a freaking party. The songs were all songs I knew and the choreography was fun. The class, jam-packed, was full of people of all ages who were smiling, laughing, and most importantly, DRENCHED in sweat. For the last song before the cool down, Brian divided the room in half and made the two sides stand and face off, and then he jumped in the center and it was a ‘dance-off’ of sorts, right side versus left side, demonstrating Brian’s choreography. Definitely want to try and go next week. They were having so much fun!

The BodyPump instructor was okay but more importantly, there was a super hot guy in my class. I nearly tumbled off the step thing after triceps trying to crane my neck and see if he had a ring on. No verdict. The cooldown song was Evanescence’ “My Immortal” which I found to be a hilarious throwback. God, remember them? I think that song was my default AIM away message when I felt like being ~deep~. After class ended, I was totally deflated to remember I had to hoof it back to the parking garage.

Not one of my brightest ideas. But this Tuesday evening class business is going to stick. I do want to get to that Zumba class and then do BodyPump after (hot BodyPump guy YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED). Maybe I won’t commute on foot anymore, haha. But I’m excited to get back on track and feel a renewed sense of motivation.  I got home at 9:20, and wouldn’t you know, after being out of the house for 15 hours, fell onto my bed and passed out.