Forgot About Dre

This post has taken two point five weeks to finish and publish. This does not mean to raise your standards.

I love the new job. Love it, love it, love it. We’re crazy busy right now, but it’s all going so well.

 The only downside of the job is how much I hate my commute home. Hate it, hate it, hate it. Leaving at 5:30 I’m right in the middle of all the rush hour traffic. My office is 15 miles from my house, yet it takes over an hour most days. It’s heavy traffic, construction, and Ravens/Orioles traffic on top of it. The stadium traffic all gets off at my exits. Why did I want to move to a city again? Haha. I hate driving so much, and my drive home probably isn’t actually that bad, but it really stresses me out. And now that I get home at 6:30-ish, suddenly everything I’ve ever wanted to attend in life is at 6 PM. Sucks.

 I’m doing better at eating healthy although I’d really like to track and see how many calories I am eating per day. I used to be, at best, mediocre at this but the whole tracking every morsel thing is tiresome (mad props to those who faithfully keep it up) and I kept forgetting to track. Some days I’m just like ughhhh sure I had 3 cups of feta in my salad, I DON’T KNOW. Some days, when I’m on my food prep game, I feel like I just might be eating too many calories considering my activity level is somewhat low. Some days, the calories are definitely too little. I keep meaning to do a WIAW to show it all off but..Wednesday keeps catching me unaware. Weekends are still an issue, like they have always been, but we’ll get there. Some day.

 Fitness. Hmm. I’m on the cusp of a new routine. <— That! That is the sentence I believe jinxed the post. I made that proclamation via keyboard then I got knocked down by a sinus infection that just wouldn’t quit and sidelined me for over a week and made me the enemy of all co-workers who sit near me. So, this new routine is walking. My office is on a 2.3 mile loop. It took me a dumb amount of time to realize this. I’ve always loved to go for long walks (now I sound like an on-line dating ad cliche), so the next day I packed a bag and changed at work at end of the day. Of course, I continually run into co-workers after I change. I still feel extremely embarrassed, like I have been caught stealing the Crown Jewels. One girl asked what I was doing, so I told her i was going for a run. Yeah, I straight up lied. What is wrong with me? It’s pretty dumb to feel so awkward about it but rationality isn’t a strength of mine. 

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The route.

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It’s a supremely nice, safe route. I feel really lucky that this is right outside my office. It’s really cool to see all the bikers, runners and walkers out on the loop, so way to go Columbia for helping people stay active. The arrival of pumpkin everything makes me sad because I know I won’t be able to do this walk forever since eventually it’ll be cold. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. The big bonus is that walking the loop twice takes me about 1.5 hours, so when I do get in my car and pull out of the office parking lot, I’ve missed a lot of the traffic. Score! So, weather, preparation (one day I only packed one sneaker. yep), and schedule permitting, I do this at least 3 days a week. While it’s not heart-pounding cardio, I burn over 300 calories according to my Map My Walk app.

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A surprise diversion on the loop. But it’s a fun one. 

I also am trying to get back on the bike. The spin bike. I can’t quite figure out my relationship with spinning. I really like sitting down and spinning away, while playing with the resistance to make the ride harder. I hate the standing up part. I’m SO freaking bad at it. I can manage like 10 seconds total. I know I’m out of shape and so it’s going to be uncomfortable and all that, but sheesh. I really loathe it (the standing up part) more than anything else I can currently think of that’s fitness related. Can I just sit down and spin the whole time? Can that be a class? Normally I’d just toss spinning aside as another Thing That Caitlyn Can’t Do And So Hath Abandoned. So why do I keep wanting to go?  I think it’s all Rev Cycle Studio’s fault. I just love that place. The instructors are all amazing, and so nice. The place has such a good vibe. That makes no sense.  I’m there every Saturday morning for barre with Mary and I just like being at Rev. This is big because as we all know, I hate being anywhere that reminds me how out of shape I am. So if you’re in Bmore and want to join me once a week at a 6 am spin class, lemmmme know. You can kick off your morning with a good, hearty laugh at my performance. 

But! What about the gym you used to go to all the time? Yeah. Hmm. It doesn’t make geographical sense to go to the location I used to go to (my gym is a chain), on weekday mornings because I’ll hit tons of traffic for endless miles. I really don’t like the locations near my house and just feel uncomfortable there. So. My gym and I are kind of at a standstill. That I’m still paying for. 

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 Remember that couple I posted about a few months ago? He passed away a few weeks after I posted. His wife wrote an amazing blog entry entitled “Rest In Peace My Sweet Husband” which you can read here. I cry every time. They also blogged their 5 year journey to cancer which is linked at the top of the post. So amazing and so inspiring. Whenever I feel myself being unnecessarily whiny, dramatic, or just acting like a bee-yatch in general, I remember their posts and how Dan lived. At his wedding he hugged me and told me “I’m so happy you’re here today” and meant it. I was a complete stranger! All he knew of me was that I was his now brother-in-law’s best friend who was obsessed with weddings. He visited 52 countries and 44 states in 33 years, and judging by the amazing posts on his Facebook wall, left an immeasurable legacy everywhere he went. It’s weird how much his death has affected me. Sometimes I get both angry and sad that such a GOOD person isn’t here anymore. Like, really? Keep all the jerks around but take him? I can’t pretend to understand now but maybe someday. 

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I Have A New Job

I have good news!

If you’re my mom, your thoughts immediately jump to “ooh has a boy decided to date you?” No. Don’t get your hopes up.

It’s official: I have a new job!

I’ve been looking for months and it has been a looong process. I hate the whole song and dance of job interviewing so much.
The finish line to this accepted job offer was mercifully short but in typical Caitlyn fashion, filled with silly. At one point my dad sighed, “I just can’t believe the life you lead. Why does this happen to you?”

I applied on a Saturday afternoon. I received an e-mail Monday afternoon asking me to complete a digital interview. Have you heard of those? It’s the way of the future, I expect. You log onto a website and film your answers to a few interview questions. You have 30 seconds to prepare and 3 minutes to answer. I sat down to film downstairs with my top half in a suit and my bottom half in sweatpants. The first question: “Why is your experience a good fit for the job?” I began to answer “My experience is a good fit for this job because….” Then nothing. A pop-up on the screen announces the connection has been lost.

The digital interview site reconnects me within minutes, and I am aghast to learn I can’t redo answers. Fine. Answer #1 submitted.  Question #2 was about how I deal with change in a professional setting. This time I said maybe four words before…same thing happens. Internet goes out. At this point I yell “WHAT THE F? OH MY GOD. F!” Then realize that my little expletive-filled tantrum was probably recorded, knowing my luck.

I stomp upstairs, still cursing, to my messy bedroom to see if internet is better up there. The last three questions are like “when can you start”, “what is salary requirement?” and naturally, my Internet works perfectly. I try to imagine the WTF expressions on the hiring team members faces as they watch my 10 second answers to the important questions. I submitted it, humbled and angered, convinced I’d never hear from them again. Off I went to the bar and regaled the bartenders with my tale of Internet connection woe. They found it hilarious, bought me too many shots, and I called sick out of work the next day. Class act.

While I was sleeping off my horrid hangover and nausea, I received a voicemail from the hiring team. They wanted me to call and schedule an interview! I was stunned. 45 minutes later, I had an e-mail sitting in my inbox because they wanted me to come in the next day! Holy hell.

I called out of work again the next day, feigning sickness again. My interview was at 11 am, the office building was 20-25 minutes away, and I left at 10 am just to be safe. If you ever invite me somewhere (please do) I will always be early. Know that. Anyhoo, I arrived at the office building at 11:45. Yeah you read that correctly. 11:45. 45 minutes after my interview was supposed to start.

Something serious (still dunno what) happened on the street where the interview was supposed to take place. There were state troopers, firetrucks, ambulances, sheriffs, police, all flying down the road. They blocked the street off, forbidding everyone to enter. I re-routed my GPS 900 times, trying different routes all with the same result. No dice. I called my interviewer at 10:40. She called me back 10 minutes later saying they had been evacuated but were now back in the building. She told me to keep trying because she thought it was safe now, not to worry, and she’ll see me when I get there.

I drove around some more. At one point I talked to a cop and said “I swear, my interview is on THIS STREET. THIS VERY STREET. I’ll show you my e-mail! Please!” no avail. Not that I thought it would work but I was desperate.

I really didn’t know what to do. They called back once more asking for an update, I kept apologizing, they kept refuting my apology, I kept driving around. I debated asking them if we could just meet at Starbucks or a Jiffy Lube because I was not going to use a personal day in vain. They eventually started letting people down the street and then my GPS got extremely confused about all the developments with office buildings and I, of course, drove around the wrong developments for about 15 minutes. I eventually made it there, practically ran into the building (in hindsight, the running was a tad dramatic). We all had a few breezy laughs about the incident. “It’s normally so boring and so quiet here,” they told me. Of course it is. Until HurriCaitlyn rolls into town.
The interview went fine. A few days later, they asked me to complete a project (they warned me about this possibility in interview) to “make sure I could do what I actually said I could do.” I spent a whole weekend working on it, reliving college where I drank copious amounts of diet pepsi wild cherry, and paced while trying to come up with ideas, convinced there was no way I could ever put anything together. “Why did I even apply? I most definitely cannot do what I said I can do. I’m a joke!” I thought. I was panicked. Welcome to Delusionville, population: Caitlyn.

Nonetheless, I soldiered on, propped up by desperation to get out of my current job and my own pride. I sent off my project, convinced it was the WORST EVER. They called three days later and offered me the job. I took the call in my office building basement. I accepted the next day, and made a palsy negotiation attempt. One of our editors walked by in the basement and I, like the ninja that I am, whipped my sunglasses out of my purse so she wouldn’t see it was me. Clark Kent. Makes total sense.

Speaking of negotiations, I read an article from an HR exec about how men always negotiate, and women rarely negotiate. I nearly had a cow about the thought of negotiating. I kept saying “I feel bad! I don’t want to look greedy! I don’t want to! I’m a happy-go-lucky kind of gal, I’ll take whatever! Team player 4ever.”  I tried it anyway. I was all proud, even though it wasn’t much. Then I heard about my brother, straight out of college with no relevant experience for his new job, negotiated with his company and he got a crazy amount out of them. I still think it’s a little crazy they gave a new college grad so much, but geos to show it’s worth a try. Stereotypes. Played right into it. So, go for it, ladies.

I start on Monday. I’m thrilled and excited, yet terrified. My earliest posts on this ol’ blog were me fretting about how I didn’t know how to fit in at my job. Now I get to redo that again. Yay. The new gig is also in a new town. So I lose my Trader Joes walks, my early morning Safeway trips with my favorite cashier, my comfortable gym (the one I go to now is 25 minutes away from my new job and it’s a traffic-heavy route), but I’ll be gaining so much more! I think this solely because I know there is a Wegmans near my new office and I hear that is life-changing.

Why I’ve Been Blogging Less

Right. hello.

Life has been busier than usual round these parts but you are probably still busier. I try not to post about how OMG STRESSED AND BUSY AND CRAZAAAYY life is ever (it’s usually not) because I remember from Queen Mindy Kaling’s book where she says “A note about me: I do not think stress is a legitimate topic of conversation, in public anyway. No one ever wants to hear how stressed out anyone else is, because most of the time EVERYONE IS STRESSED OUT. Going on and on in detail about how stressed how I am isn’t conversation. It’ll never lead anywhere. No one is going to say, “Wow, Mindy, you really have it ESPECIALLY bad. I have heard some stories of stress but this just TAKES THE CAKE.”

I read that and was like hell ya! This applies to me. So now I try not to whine about how tired (okay I fail at that one a lot), busy, stressed, whatev I am because….that quote. I love it. So I try to shut up.

This is obviously not me shutting up. And if you ever want tips on how to kill a blog, seek out yours truly. I’m the worst. BUT I can’t deny that it is kind of a success.

….I never presume anyone notices or further, cares, but it makes me cringe and feel bad when I see the blog name in the search terms section of blog stats. Oh and yes some version “I’m fat and hate myself” always makes an appearance in the search terms.  What a legacy I’m carving out.  So here I am about to fumble through an explanation that will probably make sense to a party of one Caitlyn but I feel compelled to try.

I’m trying to get out behind my computer more. I loooooove the Internet and can easily spend hours lost skimming in forums. Example, a few months ago I found Make-up Alley. I spent at least four straight days just browsing and reading reviews and then throwing things on my Amazon wishlist. A make-up artist I will probably never be but I like to imagine that I could someday be the girl who easily blends eyeshadows together to make eyes pop because that would be fun or be the girl who knows how to apply concealer juuuuust right, instead of just smearing it on my face and hoping for generously bad lighting all day like I do now. Hence why the zillion eyeshadow palettes, concealer jars, contouring brushes, are still sitting on my wishlists. Snort.

In the spring I had all these grand dreams for growing the blog but then I soured on them and realized I honestly didn’t care about growing it because I like it as it is and I hate change. In the fall I realized it was stupid how much time I spent cooped up in my room on the internet. I moved to a city like I always wanted to…and I would (still do) spend all my spare time in my room. No one is on their death bed and thinks “Sheesh if only I wasted more time on the internet.” Thus I am trying to cut down on my Internet time. Where I am at now is…I don’t know what to do with myself (this does not apply to recent, busier time). If you know of any “pathetic life” awards feel free to nominate me. I don’t really have any hobbies beside reading (which I am doing even more of) and reality tv. Over the winter months when I also could pinpoint the weather for being in my house all the time like a shut-in, I on-line browsed (and sometimes purchased) all the time. I’ve developed a new love for candles through all my yankee candle browsing.

I’m trying to cook/bake more because…adulthood.. but I really hate it. Really, really, really hate it. It makes me so anxious and I don’t know why. The other day I was baking bars and my hands were trembling the whole time and when the bars were finally cut and put away, I just felt such relief. ‘Twas bizarre.  I do more work-out DVDs. I still don’t clean my room.

So one of the things that has fallen by the wayside is blogging. I don’t put any pressure on myself to churn out “content” (like I used to in the spring) or creating graphics for pinterest (although I admire and happily pin yours and others). Maybe another reason is because I do all that at work?

This isn’t a goodbye or anything. I’m not quitting and I’ll still blog but I just wanted to try and explain the lack of consistent posts and blog reading/commenting. Soo I’m still here, always ready to rant and ramble, anddddd doesn’t mean I love ya any less 😉

 

 

MIMM: A Whirlwind, Crazy Trip Home

Whoa it’s been a long time since I managed to join in the MIMM party with Katie.

Urghhhh Monday why do you have to come back so often? Go away. I’m putting the blame for this squarely on the winter we’re all having, but damn time seems to be going so slow. Usually I’m like “WHAT?! How is it whatever month already?’ but winter is dragging. I am so sick of cleaning my car off and all the salt on my car. I am so sick of all the snow and ice, and not getting a snow day. What good is all of this if I don’t get a day off? All my teacher friends are whining on social media about how they are actively hoping against snow days, but I’m all “um. I will take them. thanks.” 🙂

I went home to PA this weekend to see my parents (and our labradoodle Maggie!!!!!). I also had to go to the dentist- haha. I really should get around to researching and starting to see doctors in Maryland but I like all of my doctors in PA. My dentist said “I remember you’re an avid reader, do you have a Nook or a Kindle?” He was thinking of getting his daughter one,  so of course I gushed about my Kindle and how it actually IS the greatest thing since sliced bread, and he replied with “Yeah, that’s the way the world is going. All those publishers will be put of business real soon.” Awkward comment considering…I work for a publisher.

We also went to the locksmith to get another spare key for my car. The locksmith had ordered another key a few weeks ago and we went so they could program the new key to my car. The associate asked if I could move my car and pull around to the back where the computer could reach (or something). The neighborhood was filled with one way streets so the associate gave me directions. In typical Caitlyn fashion, I got lost. It took a loooong 15 minutes for me to make my way to the freaking back of the store. When I pulled up, the employees clapped. Every mundane easy task is needlessly more difficult when you’re Caitlyn. Oh, and they couldn’t make a spare because it says right on the key “dealer only programming”. Productive outing.

My mom and I went to get our nails done. I have a new favorite color- peace, love and OPI. I think it’s just so cool-looking.

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That night, I went out with my parents and neighbors to a local bar. I  was really fortunate and had such a great childhood- our neighborhood was filled with kids my age and overall really nice people. It’s been so fun to get to hang out with “the parents” now that I’m older. So many are empty nesters now, and they’re always planning parties. One of the neighbors was bar tending and later on in the night we noticed a cousin behind a bar as well, so my dad asked why I brought my purse, when clearly I wouldn’t be carded with all the family around, and when my parents were going to pay. He put my purse in the car and we forgot all about it. Big error.

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Sunday morning, he left early for Vegas (!! just a work trip, although he gamely put up with all my super lame, cliche jokes about getting married by Elvis, finding a tiger in the bathroom and getting bad tattoos). I was asleep when he left – and he drove his car with my purse in it to the airport. I was in my car about to pull away to drive back to MD, and I leapt out of my car and ran into the house shrieking at my mom (and nearly steamrolling Maggie) “DID DAD BRING MY PURSE BACK IN?” Nope. My credit cards, license, insurance cards, cash, all that fun stuff.

So my mom and I trekked the 25 minutes to the airport with his spare key to retrieve my purse. We missed the garage twice and had to keep circling the airport. Then we couldn’t figure out his vague directions – “my car is by a pole, which is half garage A and garage B.” What the what? I am the girl who got lost going around the block yesterday, Dad. We finally found his car, and lo and behold, wouldn’t you guess….the remote didn’t work. Are you asleep yet? Sorry this is dull. It was really interesting in person I swear, I just am a horrible storyteller. Trust. My dad has a car where you  just have a remote and no key, and you just press a button to get it started. He hates it. The batteries in the spare remote were dead and the purse was so close, yet so unattainable. It was comical. So my mom gave me her debit card until my dad gets back home Wednesday night. OY.

Did you watch Toned Up? You know I’m a Bravo junkie/super skeptic, and it’s one of my favorite shows to air on Bravo ever. I laughed, I said “awwww!!!”, and I pouted because I wanted to be their friend and hang out with them. I freaking loved it. It probably won’t get a second season…but it should. I am 110% certain Andy Cohen reads this blog so hey Andy. Season 2. Do it. So if you haven’t watched the show, watch it and tweet about it- and maybe if Bravo sees enough tweets a season 2 will happen? 🙂 I also had such a great time every week at our viewing party here in B’more. I met so many awesome ladies!

If you read to the end, sorry and I love you. Thanks to Katie for hosting!