Why I’ve Been Blogging Less

Right. hello.

Life has been busier than usual round these parts but you are probably still busier. I try not to post about how OMG STRESSED AND BUSY AND CRAZAAAYY life is ever (it’s usually not) because I remember from Queen Mindy Kaling’s book where she says “A note about me: I do not think stress is a legitimate topic of conversation, in public anyway. No one ever wants to hear how stressed out anyone else is, because most of the time EVERYONE IS STRESSED OUT. Going on and on in detail about how stressed how I am isn’t conversation. It’ll never lead anywhere. No one is going to say, “Wow, Mindy, you really have it ESPECIALLY bad. I have heard some stories of stress but this just TAKES THE CAKE.”

I read that and was like hell ya! This applies to me. So now I try not to whine about how tired (okay I fail at that one a lot), busy, stressed, whatev I am because….that quote. I love it. So I try to shut up.

This is obviously not me shutting up. And if you ever want tips on how to kill a blog, seek out yours truly. I’m the worst. BUT I can’t deny that it is kind of a success.

….I never presume anyone notices or further, cares, but it makes me cringe and feel bad when I see the blog name in the search terms section of blog stats. Oh and yes some version “I’m fat and hate myself” always makes an appearance in the search terms.  What a legacy I’m carving out.  So here I am about to fumble through an explanation that will probably make sense to a party of one Caitlyn but I feel compelled to try.

I’m trying to get out behind my computer more. I loooooove the Internet and can easily spend hours lost skimming in forums. Example, a few months ago I found Make-up Alley. I spent at least four straight days just browsing and reading reviews and then throwing things on my Amazon wishlist. A make-up artist I will probably never be but I like to imagine that I could someday be the girl who easily blends eyeshadows together to make eyes pop because that would be fun or be the girl who knows how to apply concealer juuuuust right, instead of just smearing it on my face and hoping for generously bad lighting all day like I do now. Hence why the zillion eyeshadow palettes, concealer jars, contouring brushes, are still sitting on my wishlists. Snort.

In the spring I had all these grand dreams for growing the blog but then I soured on them and realized I honestly didn’t care about growing it because I like it as it is and I hate change. In the fall I realized it was stupid how much time I spent cooped up in my room on the internet. I moved to a city like I always wanted to…and I would (still do) spend all my spare time in my room. No one is on their death bed and thinks “Sheesh if only I wasted more time on the internet.” Thus I am trying to cut down on my Internet time. Where I am at now is…I don’t know what to do with myself (this does not apply to recent, busier time). If you know of any “pathetic life” awards feel free to nominate me. I don’t really have any hobbies beside reading (which I am doing even more of) and reality tv. Over the winter months when I also could pinpoint the weather for being in my house all the time like a shut-in, I on-line browsed (and sometimes purchased) all the time. I’ve developed a new love for candles through all my yankee candle browsing.

I’m trying to cook/bake more because…adulthood.. but I really hate it. Really, really, really hate it. It makes me so anxious and I don’t know why. The other day I was baking bars and my hands were trembling the whole time and when the bars were finally cut and put away, I just felt such relief. ‘Twas bizarre.  I do more work-out DVDs. I still don’t clean my room.

So one of the things that has fallen by the wayside is blogging. I don’t put any pressure on myself to churn out “content” (like I used to in the spring) or creating graphics for pinterest (although I admire and happily pin yours and others). Maybe another reason is because I do all that at work?

This isn’t a goodbye or anything. I’m not quitting and I’ll still blog but I just wanted to try and explain the lack of consistent posts and blog reading/commenting. Soo I’m still here, always ready to rant and ramble, anddddd doesn’t mean I love ya any less 😉

 

 

Stuck

That’s me. I feel stuck. In every aspect.  December has not been a kind month. I got screamed at in the middle of a meeting for the first time. I cried in the bathroom at work for the first time. I kind of cried to my boss for the first time after we had a big confrontation over the one instance where I whispered (whispered!!) a joke to the girl next to me in a meeting where 20 other people were talking to the person next to them and when I do it, it’s single-handedly THE MOST UNPROFESSIONAL THING EVER. Despite sitting there singing Katy Perry ‘Roar’ lyrics in my head so I wouldn’t I still kind of cried and she saw and told me ‘oh geez don’t get upset’ which for some reason made me MORE upset. I’ve also  had to pull over on the car ride home for the first time so I could cry. My dad said “I’m sorry you’re feeling miserable” and I said “I’m not miserable. I just feel so stuck.” I haven’t been able to pull myself out of bed at 4 am to go to the gym because if I’m asleep I can delay being awake and feeling stuck and thinking about being stuck.

My love life [haaaaaa] is non-existent. My battle with weight is so frustrating. I have been doing so well  and then weeks like recently happen and the only way I know how to deal is to just inhale.all.the.foods.I feel like I’m not that connected to Baltimore and it’s my own fault. I have been better with this, and I’ve met some more people, but I still don’t have many Baltimore friends. I have like, 3, people to go out with on weekends and if none of them can go, I’m out of luck. And that’s my fault too but I just am too awkward to put in too much effort and after work all I want to do is put on sweatpants and stay in my house. My college roommates keep asking me if I think I should move and that seems way too dramatic..even for me. I don’t even know what I would move for- a job? I don’t know what I want to do. I like what I do. It makes sense to do what I do but I don’t know if I’m that good at it. I still often feel like I’m faking it. Somedays I escape meetings where I babble on about nothing and when people nod I think ‘phew. I fooled them again. They couldn’t tell that I don’t know a damn thing.’

I guess at 24.5, with 25 looming,  I realize I’m nowhere near the girl I thought I would be at 25. I thought the 25 year old me would be thin, have a great job I loved and kicked ass at, had a great boyfriend, a great wardrobe, live in a city and did such cool things. I’m in a city, but i can’t seem to propel myself into making the rest happen. Lazy, scared, pick one I don’t know. Oh and I don’t know anything. There’s that too. But! There’s still time. May 12 [my birthday] is 5 months away. All I know is I’m sick of disappointing myself and feeling like sometimes all I do is wander aimlessly and that I just survive. That sounds dramatic but I feel like lately 200 times a day I say ‘I just want to go home and be in bed.’

Sooo that’s where I’m at. I’m just pulling myself forward and trying to figure out how to be proactive and find answers and..blah. This post is slightly hysterical. I’m not depressed or anything that serious. I’m …fine. But is that enough? I dunno. At this age (the time of my life!!! or something), shouldn’t I be more?

uh. happy friday!? take a shot every time i say stuck in this post.

Five Facts Friday: Umm..

*slithers back in* Hi. I disappeared and am the worst. Truth be told, the content well hath run drier than the Sahara but I love this too much so here I am with a useless post wahooo.

1)      I am also allotting partial disappearance blame to October-December. It is our conference season and while mine has been pretty mild thus far, with just day trips around Maryland, I’m still blaming it. Next week I head off to Williamsburg, VA. I am not excited because it’s a huge conference that I’m doing by myself  (ummm so what if I’ve been here a year that does not mean I am ready for responsibilities like that) and I know I’m going to mess up all the taxes, shipping rates and subsequently, all the orders. This, of course, will lead to Customer Service spitting on the ground whenever they hear my name. It’s really not that hard but I can be pretty dumb with percentages and I like to make big productions out of everything. Anyway…..I hope the weather is nice and the hotel is an easy location where I can sightsee. But really, I know how lame I am and that I will probably just hang out in my hotel room. I know you care deeply about whether I get the chance to see Williamsburg.

2)      I was told I needed to use my comp days by a certain date and then one day I woke up and was all ‘shit I need to use them by next week!’ So I took off last Wednesday (our two hour weekly department meeting day hehe) and to the shock of absolutely nobody, it was the best. I didn’t get to sleep in because all my roommates texted me around 6:45, alarmed that my car was still there, and wanting to check that I hadn’t overslept. That’s incredibly nice and caring, but of course after that I couldn’t go back to sleep. At first I was a little annoyed that I didn’t get to sleep in late but then I was all ‘yessssssss more time to do nothing!’ I just hung out in my house all day and made one trip on foot to CVS for a magazine and a diet dr. pepper. I think if everyone could just take one day off a week it would be ideal. I was happy as a clam for the rest of the week and didn’t even feel the urge to complain about anything (a miracle) because I had been lucky enough to have a day off. Then, my boss dropped the truth bomb that she had it wrong and the comp days could carry over for a little bit. Of course they could. Oh well.

3)

me bfore you3)

I just read THIS. And I want you to read it. Then I want you to e-mail me and let’s talk about it (I am not demanding at all for such a bad blogger) because I am dying to discuss with somebody.  I loved it so so so much and I know it’s a book I’ll be reading again many times. It was a gorgeous book and it made me think and JUST READ IT ❤ FYI: I didn’t read any reviews so I had no idea what the plot was (nearly all of the reviews from publishers and customers I have seen contain what I consider to be a spoiler but I am sensitive about these kinds of things). Soo consider that, I guess.

4)

I stopped going to my Zumba, BodyPump and BodyCombat classes that happen at my fave gym location (near work). When you get off work around 3:30, classes that start at 6 pm are just too much. I couldn’t leave work, go home and then go back, since I would get caught in all the  rush hour traffic that is departing from downtown. So I nearly always went to Target and Marshalls to pass the time and would spend way too much money. I now possess 7 black cardigans (guess what you’re getting for christmas, little sister!!) and an endless supply of Chlorox wipes. I think the Caitlyn of yesteryear was annoyingly optimistic that Caitlyn of the future would be so kind and adult-like as to get on top of the cleaning and stay on top it. Hope springs eternal, self.

5)

I went home to PA last weekend because according to my parents, it has been three months since I last saw them. Oops.  Maggie, our Labradoodle, is going to be 10 on November 23rd and I can’t believe it. I was in 8th grade when we got her!! Goodness. She’s starting to slow down a teensy bit, meaning she can only play 8 games of ball a day as opposed to 10. Nonetheless, she still has more energy than every dog we ever see. People say “She’s almost ten? You mean…ten months?” And we’re all, uh no ten years. She is still recovering from Halloween, which is her least favorite holiday (4th of July & all those fireworks are a close 2nd). My parents have yet to figure out how to successfully handle her on that holiday because she goes nuts in the yard and practically takes out our back door trying desperately to get inside. But if she’s inside running around, all the kids at the door who she sees as potential ball throwers make her all excited but, coupled with their costumes….she has 20 meltdowns an hour. My parents, by the way, are kicking butt at weight loss. My mom is down 45 pounds and my dad a little bit over 25 and I’m so, so happy and proud.

Happy Friday!

1. have you ever been to williamsburg? once upon a time my mom wanted me to go to william & mary (college in williamsburg) but then i grew up and was not nearly smart/dedicated enough. bahaha.

2. if you could take one day off a week from work/school, what would it be? i know most would probably pick monday or friday, but i really liked having a day off in the middle of the week.

MIMM: Runners Fest

Linking up with Katie for a terrible post about nothing.

My alarm went off at 6:04 yesterday morning and I laid there for a while thinking ‘What the hell is wrong with me? I am developing into a sick individual, setting alarms for fun.’ Then it dawned on me. Today was the day I was to give back to my community. Right. I was volunteering at the Baltimore Running Festival! Woohoo. It had poured for the previous three days here in Charm City so I pulled a hoodie on and wandered on down to the M & T Stadium at 7 right on the dot.

I was supposed to check in at “Celebration Village” and by village, they meant zoo. People everywhere. I managed to find the Info tent and lo and behold, volunteer check-in was at bag check on the other side of the parking lot. I found my people and was ready to complete my assigned tasks. The lady asked my name, I confidently gave it, and then she wrote it down with all the other volunteer names. Wtf? I registered months ago. They handed me a shirt and said ‘Have fun!’ I blinked at them and then said ‘Now what?’

‘Umm. Go see where you’re needed.’

Oh, okay. We’re only in a football stadium. I could be needed anywhere. I asked who I should be looking for.

‘People who need help.’

Wonderful. I gave up on this conversation and wandered off. This was a shock to my system because I managed events in college and a staff of 70 of my peers to manage freshmen move-in day. I assigned every second of their shift and carried around a master copy of everyones schedule. On my own lunch break, I was scanning Facebook and a girl I knew posted “Love reuniting with This Girl and That Girl! Hanging out in our apartment watching The Office! We tried to make cookies and ate mostly dough tehehehehe!” This Girl and That Girl were on the staff. I posted a comment on the status saying “Is that why they aren’t at their assigned stations for move-in day?” One of the girls called me and told me it was passive aggressive and uncalled for. I told her not to advertise on the Internet that she wasn’t doing the tasks she signed up to do. ..especially when the task you are supposed to be doing right now is handing out room keys to freshmen. Duh. At least bring me a cookie.

Anyway back to the present instead of yearning for the days when I could bark out orders ……I, of course, had no one else I was signed up with so I made a few laps of the Celebration Village looking for people that needed me. Difficult task. Awkwardly skulking around a football stadium parking lot on  my own….frighteningly typical.

I saw a group of volunteers far off so I meandered over their way and was told they already had too many people folding the foil ponchos. Fine. When I signed up to volunteer, I hadn’t envisioned myself folding ponchos anyway. I envisioned myself up on the podium dropping medals over the necks of chiseled, bare-chested men who thought this was the best day of their lives obvii.  Or doing something fun with a golf cart.

photo 1

the best of the fest, duh. she’s overdue for an eyebrow wax. excuse her.

I walked around for another ten ish minutes, convinced the security guards I kept passing were laughing at me, then saw a group of five volunteers in a pack following some guy with a clipboard. Perfect. I sidled up behind them and hoped this looked natural. The Food Tent. This I could do. There was a girl my age and she saw me and dropped back and said ‘Do you know what’s going on?’ Ah, my people. Her name was Jenny and she was nice so we silently agreed to be partners for the day. We opened up twelve hundred boxes of granola bars and olives (?). My nails are now in terrible shape from using them to slice upon all the boxes. Have you ever seen olives at a race? No, none of the runners had either. One runner asked ‘why olives?’ and I said something about salt which sounded smart and he accepted it. Or have you ever seen apples chopped in half? They were hideous. We did our assigned boxes and when one volunteer wandered up and said she was confused and where should she go, we said apples and ditched that table because I did not want to be associated with unappealing apples. I am a selfless volunteer.

photo 3

what.

Then we saw there was a water shortage – and I was mocked by all the other volunteers for my pronunciation of water – so we filled water cups. I turned it in into an exact science of ‘these people just ran for many many miles, how far should they have to stretch their arm to reach for a water cup?’. It’s an art. A water table is an art. It was very annoying how disorganized the volunteer side of things were. Volunteers kept walking up because they were looking for something to do. What. Runners were asking us all these questions that you would think we would know the answer to but no. Knew nothing.

I got to see Lauren straight off her first full! Crazy cool. Like a psycho I barreled right over to her the nanosecond I realized it was her and kinda yelled at her ‘LAUREN? HEY HOW DID IT GO!!!!!!!” A local teacher and cross country coach won, by the way, which was pretty awesome. Under Armour dropped their big title sponsorship this year (cue stephanie judith tanner: how rude) and thus there was no prize money, so no elite runners. But I love that a local guy won. I met a few of his students and they were adorable and so happy for him.  Erika Brannock was the honorary starter. She’s a local pre-school teacher who lost half her leg while standing near the finishing line waiting for her mom to finish the Boston marathon in April. Supposedly when she regained consciousness in the hospital, the first thing she asked was how were her students. She was worried about how they were going to react when they heard about her news.

Despite the disorganization, it was a fun day.  A marvelous day, if you will. There was a 5k, a relay, a half, a full and a kids fun run…so many runners. Sooo many runners. 27,000 runners. They were all super gracious and thankful. I saw allllllllll the people with medals around their necks and I was jealous. And motivated. Since I have been saying I want to run a half someday, I am henceforth declaring that I am going to try and aim for the Baltimore half 10/18/2014 at the ripe old age of 25 (!) and 5.5 months. Obviously don’t write it down or anything, give me some time to come up with some far-fetched excuses of why I can’t 😉 Either way……

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1. do you volunteer at races?

2. favorite post-race snack? i know it’s olives.

3. favorite race?

4. favorite race song? i love a good pump-up.

On October 3rd, I Asked What Today’s Post Was

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Here’s a story. It was Tuesday, 4:30 a.m. and as usual it was dark out and no one else was around because they are sane. I was locking our back door which always takes a good minute when a voice, which sounds really close, says behind me “Don’t be scared sweetheart.” I jumped out of my damn skin and spun around, about to pee my pants. There was a man sprawled out in the house next door’s parking pad and his head was about half a foot away from my car’s front tire. The house next door is visibly under construction and he was sleeping in the parking pad. He chuckled and said, “Damn. You really jumped.” I managed to stammer out something like that ‘yeah you really startled me! har har har har’ as I walked past him to get to my car. Genius. It was a great wake-up call of sorts [pun intended]. When I walked out the door, I didn’t even see him spread out a foot away, because a) I didn’t turn my head and was still probably half asleep and b) our damn parking pad motion sensor light hasn’t worked for months and we never got around to fixing it.. Whoops. I thought later how embarrassing it would have been if he’d been a murderer and killed me right there in the dark. People would shake their heads and say ‘All the SVU and Criminal Minds she watched? And all those crime books she read? And on her internet trail history…I hear she googled what Elliott Stabler’s birthday was! And that’s how she dies..? Tsk, tsk.” I am, however, quite proud that I did not pee my pants.

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I go back and forth on wanting to live alone someday. As we all know, I like my alone time. I love my house that is beyond my budget and my miraculous parking pad, I am always  proclaiming I’ll never leave but sometimes I read books (I’m currently embroiled in the Stephanie Plum series which is oh so fun. I started it Sunday and I’m on #5 which is kind of bragging but also reminding you how lame my life is) and am envious of the fun heroines who live alone. Although I admit I’d be terrified of things that go bump in the night and that my bachelorette pad would be a dust sanctuary. All I want is my own refrigerator/freezer. Ya know what I mean? I have 3 roommates and our refrigerator is always crammed. It’s a delicate organizational game, which I always place last at. We currently have 5 almond milks, and 4 of them are Almond Breeze Unsweetened Vanilla [1 for each roomie, I guess]. It makes zero sense.

rhonj-milaniafall

I have realized a new favorite hobby besides wall-staring, reading, bed lounging, waiting for someone new to view my LinkedIn, leaving hateful comments under pseudonyms on articles about the Kardashians, and watching the pile of clothes on my floor expand: grocery shopping at 6 a.m. It’s so peaceful and quiet. I can spend as long as I want in the aisles without my car getting jostled or hearing a harried persons foot taptaptap as they wait for me to get out of the way so they can grab the Goldfish or whatev. I can stand there as long as I want and debate internally whether or not I should purchase an item. This is especially helpful as I investigate all the things with  my handy dandy Fooducate app because all you have to do is scan a barcode of an item, it gives you a grade and the info about how healthy the item it really is which for a dumdum like me, is perfect.

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Another round of Biggest Loser at work starts on Friday and I’m using this to regroup and get back on track from my latest string of suckiness. This time, we have 15 people competing, as opposed to 6 of last time, so I’m excited.

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The real world is weird. I know at the dawn of every new month I say ‘wow! I can’t believe it’s This Month!’ but seriously. OCTOBER?! I remember standing in the gym locker room hearing the morning anchor exclaim how it was time for baseball season and I thought ‘Damn, already? Baseball season?’ And now, for the Orioles at least, it’s over. How is time going by so fast when I feel like I don’t really do anything? It’s the same thing everyday. It’s just very odd that my days, for the next 40-ish (!) years of my life, will be centered around doing the same thing in the same routine. Wow. How sad.

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I am so glad hockey is back! I’m a Flyers fan, who secretly likes Sidney Crosby because I met him once and he was very nice and adorable with little kids and it made my ovaries blush, but lives in kind-of Caps country. But yes. Hockey is the best sport.

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I am happy at work. There I said it. For the most part. What I really mean is I love the girls in my department so much. My cubicle mate Alex and I joke around all day while working. One day, I was whining about how I’d rather be at home in bed reading [every day] and everyone  [read: other departments] were pissing me off. So I stomped to the cabinet we have in our cubicle corner , withdrew a poster and placed in the small little entrance to our cubicle. Thus, our fence was born.  Our serious response is it’s our version of the office door. Everyone else in our department and most people at the company have offices. Many of them opt to keep their offices doors closed 75% of the time, so we installed our own door. I sent a picture of it to my mom, who promptly called me and said “”You’re going to get fired!” But everyone is highly amused by it and you cannot argue with our logic.

 

Five [Lengthy] Facts Friday

thanks for your super nice comments on my last post. no mean e-mails [yay] but a few really nice ones. you guys are the bestest around.

 

1. I’ve boasted before about the amazing cardio cinema at my gym. The other day “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” was playing. I had heard it was cute, and I knew the cast was packed with actors and actresses that I knew (hellooooo Chace Crawford please call me, my phone number is in all the letters and tweets I have sent you), so I went in and watched. It was adorable! I watched for 50 minutes while doing a treadmill / elliptical split. I had the hardest time pulling myself off the machine – the only time this has ever happened –  because I wanted to see the end so badly. Damn work and the whole “showing up is mandatory” thing.  So I bought it. I’m excited to finally get to the end.

 

2. I want to give a shout-out for nice neighbors with whom we have an arrangement. Heh. Our packages get dropped off at the mechanic who is two doors down from us so they don’t sit out on our doorstep all day while we’re at work or if the packages get put on our doorstep, one of the staff gets them and leaves us a note. Sometimes if one of the staff sees me drive down the street on my way home from work, they’ll come to our door and give the package to me, to you know, spare me from having to walk the five steps (!!!!! Oh the horror) outside of my house. Apparently my laziness is fairly obvious. For as negative as I am and how frequently I stomp around bemoaning that my glass is not half empty it’s ¾ empty and will never be full again ever ever ever ever, I’m lucky and people are nice [sometimes].

 

3. On Wednesday I went to my first CXWORX class. I’d caught glimpses of it a few times and saw them doing planks. I knew it would be hard, but manageable. After all, it was only a half hour. I’d blink and it would be over! I could do this. Um. Yeah. I was aching midway through the warm-up and cursing that we still had 26 minutes left! 26!!!! The instructor Heather was a sub, but I really liked her. She had the most calming voice even though the instructions she was dishing out were hurtful. This class was my first ride on the resistance band tube [see what I did thereeeee! No? okay]. At one point, we had to slip them over our sneakers and even though I kept putting mine midway through my foot, they kept snapping off after about five movements.  The woman next to me, trying to be helpful, said maybe I shouldn’t be so jerky. At first I thought she was actually calling me a jerk***. I couldn’t blame her. Those mirrors they insist on having in the fitness studio don’t lie and I had a scowl on the whole time [it’s my ‘angry at myself’ face and my ‘don’t judge I am aware I suck’ face].  I was appalled for maybe seven whole seconds, fuming ‘what the hell?!!? This chick doesn’t know me!’ then I realized she probably meant my movements. So uncoordinated, so new, so clueless, so sorry, so get me outta here I’ll come back when I’m stronger. I liked the class because it was short (yay) and sweaty and now I’m sore, but I’ll like it a lot better when I’m not so pathetic and slipping in piles of my own sweat while I plank.

gym

4. I am trying to become more adventurous at the gym rather than just ducking into the cardio cinema and then relying on Body Pump for my strength training. Outside of the spin studio, we have this lovely area where nobody ever is. I think it’s the personal training area but I have yet to see a single soul there. It has weights and resistance bands and other wonderful things. The other day I wandered over because it was isolated and semi did a Peanut Butter Fingers circuit (I forget which one it actually was). I say semi because I didn’t know half of the moves. I think I might need to bring print-out descriptions next time.

 

5. I have a $100 Visa gift card and have been wracking my brain on how to spend it. My mom suggested I spend it on groceries over the next few weeks but that’s boring and way too practical.  I decided I want a heart rate monitor / calorie burner teller watch thing because it would be super helpful as I never really know how effective my workouts are. What’s a good-ish one? halp.

 

BONUS* because it’s Friday and I’m generous.

Remember when I wrote about how my family was trying to get fit toooo? Well, here is my mom down 30 pounds posing with her two favorite children! She’s down 35 pounds now but this is a few weeks old from when I was in Ocean City. She looks soo good and I’m as proud as a peacock. She’s so devoted to this it’s inspiring. This actually isn’t that great of a picture but I’m obsessed with our labradoodle photobomb’er. We all thought Maggie was out on the porch haha. #diligentpetowners

maggie photobomb

 

funny story about the rubberband on my right wrist. there isn’t a story. one day i looked down and saw i had a rubberband on my wrist and had no idea of how it got there. i thought this was amusing and didn’t take it off for like three weeks.  i am a weirdo.

 

***I actually am a jerk for posting this.

 

 

 

Hear Me Roar

Oh, hey.

boy meets world make it stop

I took a quick vacay from blogging because shooooot I was just worn down. I reactivated Facebook so I’m sucked back into that hole of ‘WILL EVERYONE PLEASE STOP GETTING ENGAGED DECEMBER 21 2012 HAS PASSED THE MAYANS WERE WRONG’, there’s Twitter to make sure everyone knows allllllllll of my opinions on my terrible TV shows, Pinterest to live vicariously through, Instagram which I’m tryingtryingtrying to be better at, and blah. Also work is starting to pick up, and I usually hammer out a post before I get started working and chip away at reading blogs in spare moments… and I just got bogged down and overwhelmed and the club can’t even handle me right now.

betty

That last sentence I typed was a lie. I’ve been going out on weekends with Jenna, the girl from work who I used to swear hated me. Will wonders never cease? Reading my old posts and man..even knowing that in books/movies, the girl character that is ice cold and kinda bitchy to the heroine/narrator is either a) really an icy cold bitch and becomes the mortal enemy to our fair heroine or b) not really ice cold and bitchy it was all a misunderstanding  then they team up, I would have sworn B would never happen with us co-verkers, but here we are, stumbling around the streets laughing about too many vodka/sprites. Is my social life actually on the upswing? Stay tuned for this new development because painful detail is my thing.

shine bright

new motivational sign on cubicle.

The new girl, Alex, who shares my cubicle has the exact same humor as me and so we’re laughing, joking around, talking obsessively about Bravo shows (and what a douchebag Ryan Culberson is on Real Housewives of OC because any 20 something MARINE who gets in a sweet and gracious 64 year old’s face ,an invited guest of your mother-in-law, for no reason deserves to be punched in the face over and over and over SIGH makes me so mad and did that make any sense? no), sending Buzzfeed articles back and forth with subject lines that say things like “Sales meeting prep”, all day long. My boss Sharon and I have such a stellar relationship, she is forever telling the company leadership what a great job I’m doing (puh-leez give me a raise), gives me a lot of freedom with important projects and has so much trust in me,  and we also talk about Bravo shows and what a douchebag Ryan Culberson is and she brings me in books which of course makes her one of my favorite people.

tina piza

I think I have mentioned it but I’m competing in the “Biggest Loser” at work where we weigh in weekly. There’s an overall Loser Winner, who loses the most weight throughout the competition. There’s also weekly rankings for the person who loses the most each week. For the first two weeks, yours truly was dead last.  I’m pretty sure every time I personally was in last it was because I gained weight. Then I won the next two weeks. And was middle of the pack rest of the weeks. Won another week. Once again on the bottom last week. One of the other ‘losers’ said to me ‘Wow, Caitlyn, you sure are a compelling competitor. I can never predict what you do every week!’ Haha. That may sound mean, but she’s the nicest lady and it is kind of funny. The other contestants are all consistent-ish and then there’s hurricane Caitlyn. Up 2 pounds, down 3 pounds, up 2 pounds, down .5 a pound. I am so consistent in my inconsistency. It’s a rare talent.  The competition is halfway over and I’m hoping I can string together a good run. Right now I’m in 4th, which is more impressive than it sounds, considering 7 people are competing.

zombies dotn text

Does anyone watch Pretty Little Liars? I’m watching it on my computer as I write this. This show has so jumped the shark. I used to OBSESS about this show and talk conspiracy theories until the cows came home but now can barely muster up any interest anymore and there’s a whole new crop of creeps I do not care about. Also, if anyone wants to join me in my ‘Aria & Ezra a blackhole of suck’ camp where we sit around and don’t care about Ezria and angrily tweet show producers demanding answers (that I have yet to receive) about why “A” has never, ever done anything to Aria while the other 3 girls are repeatedly put through hell, I’m over here to the left.  Oh you stupid show, I wish I could quit you.

homer treadmill

I finally figured out, with the help of my college roommate Rachel, why my DVD player wasn’t working. It is now set up and I just got Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred and another one of hers I can’t remember. I’m terrified/excited/clinging to relief that SHE CAN’T SEE ME.

iti s law

Someday when I have my own company, I am going to implement a policy where we allot employees with “not in the mood” days. Not in the mood days are when your alarm goes off and you just cannot haul yourself out of bed,  when your alarm goes off and it’s raining (aka it should be illegal to have to get OUT of bed), when you just want to stay in bed and watch Law & Order: SVU marathons all day, or when you are not in the mood to leave your house. For me that’s like everyday but all good things in moderation.

Let’s take a road trip and go here. I may or may not have teared up. THIS GUY IS THE GREATEST.

1 .bagel bites or pizza rolls? i like both, but am staunchly team bagel bites fo life.

2. what places do you want to visit? i have a lot. atlanta (meg & rebekah, i’m coming). miami, hawaii (obv), pittsburgh, san fran (i need to see the full house house), nashville, vegas, nawleans. don’t even get me started on international places.

3. fave fitness DVD?

*the post title is homage to katy perry’s new song which i can not and will not take off repeat. super annoying lyric video ahead.