Too Tired for Titles

I fully recognize that is unfair to direct so much ire at my alarm clock. It is only doing the job that, every night, I request it to. Yet every morning, when those gentle harps begin chiming (my alarm), I’m filled with such rage and hopelessness. Yes, hopelessness. I’m always woken out of a deep sleep when my alarm goes off. It feels as if there’s sand in my eyes and I can’t possibly keep them open and that there is no freaking way I can think about becoming vertical, let alone actually being productive for the next 14-16 hours.

When does this get easier? I go to bed around 10:30-11:00 every night and usually fall asleep within 25-30 minutes. My alarm goes off at 6:08 and I eventually pull myself out of bed 10-15 minutes later. Then I spend the rest of the day yawning. And when I am tired, I am one of those people yawning constantly.

I joked about this in college, but now that I’m a full-fledged member of The Working World, it really does feel as I’m always tired. The coffee at work is disgusting and no amount of cream and sugar makes it better. I don’t know where local coffee shops are around here and even if I did, I’m not sure I could warrant spending the money every day. I do drink a can of diet pepsi wild cherry in the afternoons which gives me a little life.

I sleep around 7.5-8 hours a night and I find it pathetic that I’m always so tired. It makes me fear the days when I’m a mom, when instead of just lazing about my room reading and watching reality TV after a long day of work, I’ll have to cook dinner (this is assuming I ever learn to cook, I’m still working on the ‘Marry someone rich and we’ll hire a chef’ thing), help with homework, get the kids cleaned up and in bed, clean the house, do laundry, etc. At that point I’ll have my own coffee pot and will probably be drinking 10-12 cups a day and given that caffeine affects me so greatly, I’ll be awake until 6 a.m anyway. Props to all parents. I never thought about how long their days are.

Two weeks ago I bought ‘the sleep app’ for my phone, where it monitors your sleep cycles and it will wake you when you’re in the lightest sleep cycle within half hour of your alarm. Supposedly the lightest sleep cycle is “the natural way to wake up where you feel rested and relaxed.” After a week, it gives you your ‘Sleep Quality’ which measures how well you slept. I haven’t tried it yet because I keep forgetting and also because knowing my luck, it’ll tell me I measure in at 100% and am the best sleeper in the humankind. Which will make this even more pathetic.

Any tips? In the meantime, I’m off to be productive and daydream about being asleep.

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